


kirburbia (or, it's not quite new york)

by millimallow



Category: Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Just Anywhere in Canon, M/M, set on earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-08-26 18:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 35,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16686793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millimallow/pseuds/millimallow
Summary: When you know everyone and everyone knows you, Planet Popstar gets a little claustrophobic. The summer fire season spreads to Kirby's home and Meta Knight calls up Dedede as a host, only to find out that he's heading for an Earth vacation and won't let Kirby in the castle without him around or Kirby on Earth without Meta Knight by his side. He's unsure, but there's not much he can do to back out at this point, and it's only for the summer so it'll be okay.Presumably. Welcome to Oklahoma.(check out more at millimallow.tumblr.com!)





	1. it's summer elsewhere too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my wonderful girlfriend Connie, who introduced me to Kirby.

It’s when a patch of Kirby’s home forest burns down that Meta Knight decides it might be wise for them to take a trip for a while. Kirby can’t really understand what’s happened too well, though he grows in understanding every day, and it just distresses him to be around it. And, Meta Knight tells himself, he’s not too sure what’s happening or why. He just has the wisdom to know that Kirby, for all hi innocence and joy, has made himself the centre of much malice from those who would seek to harm others.

Or it was a natural fire. That happens. But still, another could strike at any moment. The other forest denizens are acutely aware of this, according to Meta Knight’s observations, as they head for further-flung fields where their relatives and second homes reside. And though he pledges to never say it out loud- doing so would make it uncomfortably real- he is the closest to family Kirby has. He’s not really thinking about it too much, or too in-depth when he picks Kirby up in his ship (promising enough tomatoes and cherries as a lure, of course) and starts drifting through the air currents that run over Planet Popstar. He’s never really looked after Kirby for a particularly long period of time. If there are indeed more fires, this is a long-term responsibility, a line of mental enquiry that makes him clutch the gears in his ship just a little tighter, go faster, take the tops off some trees and feel pretty guilty about creating more and more groundbrush for the fire to sweep through. In the mirror as he flew, the sky continued to choke with dust and ash, red and aflame.

 _Well_ , he muses aloud when Kirby finally falls asleep (sure, he’s a sleepy little thing regularly, but the ship excites him to where he’s animated like a damn jet), _you can’t make this much worse for yourself_. He muses it hovering over Dedede’s contact number on the strange device that Dedede himself provided Meta Knight, what he called a “phone” and is now a “mobile phone” or a “cellphone” or a “smart phone”. Whenever he calls it the last one they argue, with Meta Knight outraged that a device that disrupts your precious alone-time could ever be called “smart” or even necessary, but Dedede thinks it’s funny so he turns it into a joke.

“Why do you have to be so serious about it? You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”  
“I believe that it is now my job to keep it…”  
“Eh, you don’t even have a job. I’m on there in case you need me.”

 _In case you need me_.

He hates the idea of needing anyone, much less Dedede. Dedede needs him more than anything, in particular for his dirty work. He doesn’t need the “phone”, either, but…

He presses down with a gentle, hesitant touch. The screen alights itself and displays a cacaphony of options for Meta Knight to select, all of which Dedede instructed him to ignore. Even the one which ends a call, so he has to take every call he gets and go through with every call he makes, prompting Meta Knight even further to keep it tucked in his drawer and concealed by permanent silence. It doesn’t take long before there’s a characteristic beep to signify the call going through, and a moment later a voice.

Dedede. He’s not making Waddle Dees answer the phone this time (a good thing, considering they’re not exactly high-order conversationalists). He’s not even sounding pompous for the first few seconds.

His voice crackles through the line. “You woke me up.” he mutters.  “Don’t you know how late it is?”  
“I’m fully aware of the time of night it is,” Meta Knight lies, “it’s not good for you to go to bed so early.”  
“2am, Meta Knight.”  
“Oh.”  
…Time flies when you’re with Kirby, Meta Knight thinks, Dedede’s words in his mind still.  
“C’mon, you better having a dang good reason to call me at this time. I have beauty sleep to get, and the Waddle Dees have regular sleep to catch up on too.”  
“M-my apologies,” replies Meta Knight, cringing internally at the emergence of a nervous stutter particularly in front of Dedede, “but I’ve come to ask if there’s anywhere you could host Kirby for a while.”  
“Mmmm. Why’re you asking me? He has other friends.”  
“You have the castle.”  
“It’s my castle.”  
“The forest is burning down.”  
“…Oh. Are people-“  
“No, no,” Meta Knight insists “They’re fine. These things…they happen.”  
Dedede returns to his bolder tone. “Good. Everything in my kingdom is working fine, as expected. What were we talking about?”  
“Kirby.”  
“Why?”  
“I have him.”  
  
A blank pause interrupts the conversation and sits there for a while. Meta Knight becomes uncomfortably conscious of his hand still hovering over the phone. The way he’s sweating, but only slightly.  
  
“Well, that’s a freakin’ weird way to say whatever you mean. Did’ya kidnap him??”  
“Shhh! Don’t- don’t wake him up. I just wanted to get him away from the fire and from whoever…if there is anyone- who might have caused it.”  
“You still want my help with that?”  
“Frankly, I’m not sure who else to turn to.”  
“At 2am, you’re lucky to have me. And a thank you wouldn’t go amiss. But I might have somewhere.”  
“Not the castle?”  
“I’m leaving on vacation very soon. Earth.”  
  
Earth is where Dedede got the “mobile phone” from. He’s fond of the place. Maybe too fond for someone whose job is ruling somewhere else.  
  
“And you-“  
“We, because I’m not leaving him alone.”  
Meta Knight sighs, deliberately hard enough for Dedede to hear him. “-we, bring Kirby to Earth. For a while, until it’s safe.”  
“Earth is a perfectly safe and fine place. Different, but hell, I like it there.”  
“I’m well aware.”  
“I have a villa in a place on Earth named “Oklahoma”. We pack tomorrow, leave the next day- bust your ship over here ASAP. But I won’t be up before the afternoon.”  
“Your generousity astounds me, King.”  
“Yeah, well, don’t make a big deal out of it.”  
Another silence. _Shit_ , Meta Knight thinks. He’s gotten himself into something he really can’t control.  
“I’m not reaching over to end the call.”  
“Well, how do I do it?"  
“The red one- the red symbol-“  
  
It cuts out while Dedede launches into his spiel and drowns the ship in a sudden silence. And Meta Knight yawns, feels the need for sleep overcome him, and drifts wordlessly to sleep mere minutes after the call ends. There, he dreams a strange scene of what Earth could be like, and whether Kirby would be okay there.


	2. soup in the mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't have a Kirby fanfiction without Kirby.

It’s roughly 10am when Meta Knight docks at Dedede’s castle. His approach is marked by swarms of panicked Waddle Dees throughout the halls, suggesting a strike on the newly approaching ship without Dedede appearing at all to clear Meta Knight. But Meta Knight just sits in the helm and watches the chaos commence. Thinking to himself-   
“the more noise, the quicker dedede himself wakes up.”  
And he’s not wrong.

-

When the sun shines through Dedede’s curtains in the morning, he greets it with a wide smile. He knows how he looks to other people, and he knows how he acts around them, but in these little moments he gives himself a tiny space of joy- joy greater than finalizing his packing for the trip to Earth for a few weeks during the summer, a task that he remembers only shortly after waking up, sliding a hand down his face as he does.   
And to add to that, he thinks to himself silently, it’s way too loud outside!  
…What?

-

They meet on the balcony of Dedede’s castle where Meta Knight’s ship is unceremoniously docked. The little platform leading to the ship itself is crooked and awkwardly balanced between the turrets, hardly able to fit, but Meta Knight’s too tired to quibble with the positioning. It won’t stop bugging him, really, but…He’ll be okay. The warmth of the beverage in his hands comforts him, him and his aching sleep-deprived soul.   
“Is that hot chocolate you’re drinking there?”  
What an introduction after a few months of not seeing Dedede in person.   
“It’s soup, actually,” Meta Knight replies. “I can heat it up in my ship without too much equipment.”  
“Mhm. And it smells like hot chocolate on accident, I guess?”  
“Most people say hello when they meet an old colleague, you know.”  
A hard silence hangs over the room, the two of them more acutely aware of it in the physical space.   
“…Well, it was implied.” stutters Dedede. “We said hello to each other over the smartphone.”  
“Told you not to call it that.”  
“I don’t listen.”  
“…Right. Whatever. Our agreement still stands, am I correct?”  
Dedede shrugs and lets out a little laugh, one that causes an irritated smirk to bloom over Meta Knight’s mouth. “Yeah, sure. For Kirby, that is.”  
“Of course.”  
Dedede glances casually over at the ship. “You packed?” Meta Knight just grunts in response.  
“I’m always packed. That’s essentially my house.” Dedede doesn’t reply, but walks towards the ship anyway and looks at it once more with an extended glare.  
“Nice place you’ve got. Lots of cannons.”  
“Didn’t you ever get taught not to lurk outside of people’s houses, then?”  
More silence. Dedede takes a few pointed steps back, his eye contact whole with Meta Knight the whole time.   
“I’m going back inside for Kirby. Then I’ll come back inside the palace and…you’ll do whatever you’re doing.”  
More eye rolling. Dedede starts walking back inside, coat floating in the wind behind him to Meta Knight’s chagrin.  
“Eh, take your time. You’ve done me the favour of interrupting my dang beauty sleep!”

-

“Kirby? Kiiiiiirby?” The words echo throughout the metal halls of Meta Knight’s ship, their empty chambers and complex machinery forming a ricochet of echoes. Meta Knight assures himself that he knew where Kirby was previous to this, he just woke up and went on an exploration, that’s all. Kirby’s not that hard to find unless he wants to hide. And worst comes to worst, he’ll respond to the call of food- Meta Knight wonders to himself if he has any tomatoes left, since he ate most of the cherries earlier when he got tempted into a midnight snack…  
“Poyo?”   
Suddenly, the telltale sound can be heard from a room only a few meters away from where Meta Knight stands in exasperated waiting. Making the best use of his small body he runs there, forming a glide to reach faster when the frustration of small legs overtakes him. And of course Kirby is there. Kirby, breaking into the preservative larder of the ship which Meta Knight maintains for emergencies of either danger or random daylight peckishness (he has snacks in his cockpit drawer for the night for convenience, otherwise it’s a hassle.) He’s about to charge at Kirby and steal the precious supplies out from under his nose before he remembers that Kirby, for best results, probably shouldn’t be jolted too much in the process of travelling from Planet Popstar to a new, unknown realm of existence entirely. Instead, Meta Knight adopts a soft voice and calls out from the other side of the room until Kirby’s attention is fixed on his presence by the doorway. A few more of Meta Knight’s preserved pineapple slices are made sacrifice to the pink orb, again to his chagrin, but eventually Kirby floats on over to his older blue friend and settles down in front of him.  
“Hi, Kirby.”  
“Poyo! Poyopopyo?”  
“It’s good to see you’ve woken up. And uh, eaten.”  
“Poyopoyopo!”  
“There’ll be more food later. Anyway, Kirby…Do you know who we’re here to visit today?”  
“Popopo?”  
“Yeah. Dedede. He’s uh, been kind enough to invite us on a trip away while the forest heals a bit.” Kirby’s expression of anguish on the reminder of the situation strikes a little pang of guilt into Meta Knight’s heart, and he thanks himself again fro picking up that mask when he had the chance. “I know it’s not great. But we can have some fun with Dedede.”  
“Popopo…”  
“Ah- I’ll be there too! And you can play alone if you want. We’re going to be going to Earth, which is where Dedede has one of his holiday homes located. Earth is, it’s, um- It’s good. You’ll like it there.” Kirby just wriggles in response and claps his hands in succession, which Meta Knight interprets to the best of his efforts as being a reasonably positive response to the situation at hand.   
“You ready to go and take off? I promise that whatever happens, I’ll take care of you.”  
Ew. Sappy, Meta Knight thinks. But it’s what they both need to hear in a time like this. Kirby gives Meta Knight his excited look, where the stars shine bright through his eyes, and Meta Knight feels a newfound confidence when he holds Kirby’s hand and leads him out of the storage room into the winding corridors and beyond.


	3. last one out of planet popstar, please turn the lights off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even leaving Dedede's castle is a hassle for the galaxy's two most poorly prepared idiots. Luckily, unresolved relationship tension is pretty easy to lug from planet to planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again for my girlfriend and her incredibly kind support.

Despite its grand structure and history, Dedede’s castle doesn’t inherit much splendour. The architecture is on form, and it runs itself as an efficient machine, but the inside is significantly devoid of any great riches. The heritage lies in the art, the family portraits and the intricate tapestry of awnings and upholstery which, long ago, were the peak of comfort. Yet the modern age has stripped it greatly of any decorum. In a sense, it has aged as poorly as its own resident family. In the face of Dark Matter, what is a king? What is a knight, what is a hero? There are grandfather clocks lining the halls, proclaiming each second, each moment that the question has yet to be answered. Meta Knight can’t stop watching them as he waits, waits for Dedede to emerge from his dressing-room, the tiny hands clicking and moving in beautiful predictability.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

_This place is more of a museum than a house._

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

_I don’t even remember who these people on the clock-faces are. They look like Dedede, and they must be related to him… But there’s not much else to say._

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

_Is the holiday home on Earth going to be much like this? I don’t think I could stand it for much longer._

“Popoyope?”

Oh, right. Kirby is here. Don’t forget that.

“He is taking a while, isn’t he.”  
“Poya popopo?”  
“Dedede is fine- I mean, if he was hurt, we’d hear everything of it. He’s hardly close to quiet, is he?”  
“Poyo poyonon…”  
“It’ll be more exciting on Earth than this, trust me.” Meta Knight reaches out to pat Kirby on the few times in a comforting fashion, as best as he can, smiling briefly behind his mask. “We’re just waiting for Dedede to get finished up.” Kirby smiles as wide as he can himself and looks Meta Knight in the face, then hugs him as hard as he possibly can with his small, rotund body, latching onto his wings and pawing at his mask in a way that sends Meta Knight into fits of infuriated, exciteable and sudden giggles to rival a child on a fairground ride. And Kirby laughs along, innocuous and entertained, until the two fall head over feet onto the near-pristine carpet of Dedede’ abode right as the king himself steps out of the adjacent dressing room in looser, more sensible clothes than usual. His gaze is stern but not malicious, full of curiousity regarding the recent antics. And Meta Knight’s not quite sure why, but he lights up a little inside despite his evident embarrassment at the hand of a child. Perhaps from the thrill of muddying the meticulously maintained carpets makes me feel a little more alive. It takes a second for Kirby to finish up his most recent assault on Meta Knight’s most ticklish spots and for Meta Knight himself to establish a drastic surrender, but he’s eventually able to stand on his own two feet once more and look Dedede in the eye.

“You took too long getting changed, how do you expect me to keep Kirby entertained while you’re worried about what shade of orange is most flattering on you?” It’d be an accusation, Meta Knight knows, if the situation wasn’t inevitable. Dedede was finicky, he knew it.   
“I dunno, throw a ball or something?”  
“He’s a- well, he’s not a dog.”  
“Woof, someone’s getting a little tense.” Meta Knight bites his tongue to stifle a laugh and a better, more eviscerating follow-up insult.   
“Popopo poyo?” Kirby bursts out.  
“Yeah, we’re leaving soon. Wanna follow me to the transport room?”  
“Poyoropa poy!”  
“A-and why can’t he follow me?” Meta Knight stammers, surprised. _What a blow that Kirby is totally fine with following Dedede there in the first place…  
_“Because I need you to turn all of the lights off before we leave. Energy conversation is important!”  
“Do you mean energy conservation?”  
“I mean- turn the dang lights off, Meta Knight!”  
Before he can object, Dedede is already making his way down the waiting hall and through the winding corridors of the castle, Kirby in tow. And when Meta Knight turns his back to start fulfilling his designated duty, he’s hit with a feeling of disappointment that draws a deep, heavy sigh.  
All of the lights are, predictably, Dedede’s height. On chains that dangle slightly out of his reach. _Good one, Dedede. Good one._  
  


It takes a good while, but Meta Knight is eventually able to catch up to Dedede and Kirby, cloistered as they are in one of the newer areas of the castle. The interior is cloaked with a good and not-entirely-harmless-looking selection of wires and buttons, some bearing a distinct resemblance to advanced technology salvaged from old opponents like Haltmann. These intricacies all eventually direct themselves to the centre of the room, where a flat grey platform surrounded by safety fencing stands. _If it really requires this complexity of engineering, and Dedede himself put it together_ , Meta Knight thinks he can’t really help but be a little bit impressed.

“So this is your transport room?” Meta Knight stammers, embarrassingly out of breath from having floated around the castle in a lost stupor for a good while.  
“Yeah. I won’t bore you with he explanation, but I promise you it’s reliable.”  
“You build it yourself?”  
“Mostly.”  
_Well, it is Dedede.  
_“…I probably should have asked this before I agreed to go along with it, but what exactly is Oklahoma…like?”  
“Well, it’s complicated.”  
“Enlightening.”  
“Shut up. Sorry, Kirby, for using rude language.”  
“It’s like, you know, a big place with lots of open land, but then there are also some cities, they’re mostly ordinary for human cities though, and you’ve got some places where it’s just homes that humans live in. Quiet. Low-key.”  
“Wouldn’t you prefer somewhere more exciting?”  
“I like to lay low.” Meta Knight can’t argue that lying low is probably the best for all of them at this point, though the noise of a great city would be comforting.  
“Is your land there spacious?”  
“Sure, of course. Small town, large house, best in town.” _Braggart_.   
“You said it’s humans on Earth. You must stick out like a sore thumb.”  
“Well, hey. Humans are the only truly intelligent life-forms on Earth, it’s true, but I go under-cover.”  
“Will we- me and Kirby- also be going undercover?”  
“Yeah, you’ll be my lifesized plastic figurines. Just try not to move when people are looking.”  
“Poyororopa!”  
“As Kirby says, that’s impossible.”  
“Of course you’ll be undercover!” Dedede sighs loudly, beginning to fiddle with the settings of the machine. Meta Knight hopes he knows what he’s doing. “I’ll explain in more detail there, but we all have human forms we can take for the duration of our time there. It takes some adapting to, but you won’t attract any attention as long as you keep saying you’re my out-of-town visitors. As far as they know I’m a writer, and that home is my inspirational retreat!” Dedede yanks down one lever, then another, and another. “Humans-“ one lever goes down “are-“ then the second, “awfully-“ a third “inattentive!”, fourth “sometimes!” and then the final fifth lever. The once-grey platform begins to exude a rich, bright blue light. It crackles with electricity, and Meta Knight can see that Kirby is mesmerized by the sudden transformation.

“Your carriage awaits you, Sir Meta Knight and Master Kirby!”


	4. a whole new you

Light pours through the window of the building Meta Knight finds himself in after stepping through the transporter. Initially he flinches, blinking away the illuminated dust, but it only takes a few seconds for these new, strange eyes to become accustomed to their new, strange surroundings. He feels a little different somehow- like he’s seeing from a different place, at a different height, in a different body.

Dedede did say something about a disguise. And of course he doubted it initially- Dedede’s technical prowess is often dwarfed by his ambition, at least from Meta Knight’s experience- but it looks like for now, whatever he’s tried has worked. And boy, longer arms give you some fruitful eye-rubbing potential.

“Hey, it worked! You look just like a human now. And you don’t look half bad, either.” When Meta Knight looks over at Dedede, it’s pretty clear that the disguise has applied to him successfully. And he’s, internally, a little surprised at how well the disguise resembles Dedede’s natural form.  
“Did you think it might not work?” Meta asks in response. He thinks it’s best not to flatter Dedede- confidence suits him badly.  
“Eh, well, nothing is 100%.” Meta Knight makes an internal note: _Dedede’s voice hasn’t changed much_. And I can still recognize my own, even after this. “And Kirby’s looking fine, so it’s obviously pretty solid.”  
_Oh yeah, Kirby_. Kirby hasn’t made much noise since the transportation, but Meta Knight can spot him in the corner of the room (where there’s another strange, grey platform) fumbling with the soft pink material of the oversized sweater he’s now wearing. Actually, Meta Knight counts that as another thing he’s thankful for- two things, even- that Kirby is safe and sound, and that they’re all wearing human clothes. Later, he promises himself, he’ll get in front of a mirror and clear up any fashion sins he might have committed. But for now the soft feeling of fabric on his skin is pretty soothing in terms of social anxiety. He’s not a fan of being uncovered at any point, really.  
“Thanks for getting us here safely. But that’s kind of the bare minimum.”  
“A thank you would be appreciated.” Dedede replies, grinning.  
“I did say thank you.”  
“Like, a real one.” The sensation of a new body is exciting. There are so many new muscles, nerves, thoughts. All Meta Knight wants to do, though, is roll his eyes and make his way to somewhere he can catch up on his sleep. “I can see you do that without your mask, you know.”  
_No mask. Ah, shit_. Meta Knight doesn’t respond.  
“Well, anyway, welcome to the grand portion of Earth the humans like to call Oklahoma!” Kirby responds in inflated glee.  
“Poyopopa!”  
“This is my little haven for when I need to get away from it all. There are a few more rooms- mine is signposted, so don’t go in! Take your pick and I’ll meet you downstairs in a while.”  
“Aren’t we going to talk more about this?”  
“What else is there to say? You’re here, where I said you’d be, and now I’m going to run myself a hot bath to relieve some of this dang tension from my old shoulders…”  
“You’re not old, Dedede. You just want a hot bath.”  
“Eh, sue me about it. Don’t, actually. If you’re jealous there are two bathrooms upstairs!” Dedede’s sentence trails off as he edges with subtlety, then with sudden and unexpected grace, towards the door of the room and then out. Before Meta Knight can come up with his next witty, tense retort to Dedede’s grandiose assumptions, he’s gone. Leaving Kirby and Meta Knight alone in the room. Meta Knight coughs and turns to Kirby instead.  
“Hey, little dude. We’re on Earth now.”  
“Poya!”  
“I wasn’t really expecting Dedede to pull through, but, well… He can surprise you. You alright with being a human for the time being?”  
Kirby nods and smiles in an enthusiastic fashion, Meta Knight taking it as a yes. He spends a second ruffling Kirby’s hair- it’s pink, which according to Meta Knight’s knowledge of humans isn’t really a natural hair colour- and assessing the new, humanoid Kirby. Young. Short. Round. His cheeks are chubby and rose-tinted, his eyes are a late-evening blue- that’s Kirby.  
“Good kid. Want to go pick a room for now?” Meta Knight only has to utter the words before Kirby takes his permission to heart and dashes into an adjacent room faster than Meta Knight can tell him to _be safe, please, don’t touch anything sharp-_

And suddenly it’s just him.

He can see the rooms where Dedede and Kirby are, so his choice has been limited to two. Meta Knight assumes there’s no real difference between them, and picks the one closest to the two of them for safety- if anything happens to either of them, he’s their best hope for assistance. And just as he predicted, when he walks in he sees a fairly unremarkable sight. One room, cast in whites and beiges and taupes, though slightly cluttered with an eclectic selection of decorations which Dedede probably purchased to integrate himself better with the community. He assumes the community knows Dedede in some fashion- out of the window, which lights up the dust in the same fashion as the other did, he can see other houses in patterned lines located mid-distance away. Even if this house is larger and more isolated than the others. Considering a nearby community, it’s a little surprising they allowed someone like Dedede to purchase the land. A single man with no local interests and no past?

Oh well. The window is hardly the most interesting part of the room. In the far right corner is a wardrobe with a mirror next to it. It’s full length- full length for a human, even. Meta Knight takes a deep breath and walks forward, eyes shut, until he’s loitering in front of it and next to the window. The reflection is faint, obscured somewhat by the light, but he’s not huge on looking too close. And his first impression is that, well, it’s not the worst thing ever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> good communication? what's that?

The key thing about Meta Knight’s human appearance, at least from Meta Knight’s perspective, is that he’s less…cute. The mask is gone, and he can’t quite suppress the pang of insecurity and fear losing it evokes, but being a human makes it better. Maybe, he ponders, it’s because he can’t really tell what’s cute and what isn’t for a human. He’s shorter than most humans he’s seen in Dedede’s photographs or in person, but humans have to get used to living amongst people who look a little different from them. His skin is sepia; eye still bearing the distinctive scar; blue-black hair sprouting in jagged furls from his scalp. All of his armour gone, replaced by the sort of formless casual wear that humans prefer when they’re trying to be inconspicuous. The ribbed blue sweater is maybe Meta Knight’s favourite, though the tightness and clinginess of it against his chest causes him to fiddle with it until it sits at the right position for him. Not much else can be said about the rest of the ensemble. Meta Knight moves over to the single-inhabitant bed and undoes his new shoes to walk around the house politely, then steps outside the room all the while checking for mirrors in his path where he might catch another look of his human body.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meta Knight’s first instinct is to go downstairs. He lingers in the corridor for a couple minutes, where Dedede has hung some relatively inconspicuous pieces of generic art, but there’s only so much he can do there. Consciously avoiding his instinct to float down the stairs he wanders into the bare environs of the bottom floor. He surveys it- one door seems to lead to a kitchen, another door to a large central room and another to a room that, from what Meta Knight can see, doesn’t have anything very welcoming in it. There’s some miscellaneous junk in there, and he’s not exactly compelled to sift through Dedede’s garbage. Though he does wonder to himself why Dedede can’t keep all of it in his castle rather than a suburban home. The kitchen is surprisingly clean- but Meta Knight suspects that Dedede doesn’t exactly cook, which is probably why. He’s not hungry, really, so he tries out the door to this large, central room- different hands are so damn awkward- only to find Dedede sitting there on a comfortable lounge chair.

“Oh, Meta Knight! Making yourself at home?”  
“…I thought you were going back to bed.”  
Dedede shrugs, the gesture even more visible with his broad human shoulders. Human Dedede, Meta Knight observes, maintains the large frame and bulk of his origin, though he has hair all over in thick curls. It’s not a bad look, not at all. “Couldn’t sleep, I guess. Too much excitement.”  
“Oh. Well, sorry about that.” Meta Knight isn’t sure why he’s responding so meekly. Because he’s in someone else’s house, maybe…  
“You don’t need to apologize.”  
“Of course. My apologies.” Dedede just rolls his eyes and silently invites Meta Knight to take a seat on the sofa that’s located in the South of the room. There’s a TV there- one of the things Dedede talks about when he’s going on about Earth, a box that transmits video from around the world. It’s black right now, Meta Knight notices, so maybe it’s broken at the moment. It causes more silence between them as they sit there, in the same place but not entirely together.  
“How do you feel about the house?”  
“It’s nice,” Meta Knight responds “but I wonder why you need it.”  
“What kind of question is that?”  
“It’s not a question-“  
“Ah, you know it’s a question. Can’t a man go on vacation sometimes? Have some time to himself?”  
“What’s wrong with Planet Popstar? It has an abundance of vacation spots.” Dedede goes silent for a moment, a resumed silence more awkward than before.  
“Because Earth is a nice place, Meta Knight. S’not my fault you’re stuck in your ways.”  
“Is this really the nicest place on Earth, though? Surely there are buildings grander than this you could afford for yourself.” Dedede just laughs when Meta Knight says this.   
“A lot of that money is tied up in family interests, so for now this is the best I can get. It’s comfy, it’s quiet and there’s no way someone is going to come looking for me here of all places…”  
“I see… What kind of family interests?”  
“Ah- what!? How do you think I’m going to answer that question for you?” Dedede squawks. “It’s all top secret, at least to those outside of the family. I don’t think you’d understand even if I told you.”  
“Right, right.” Meta Knight doesn’t put much effort into hiding his frustration from Dedede here. “Maybe I don’t really know how family works when it comes to these things.”  
“Eh, well…The pressures are unique, let’s say that.” Dedede’s twiddling his fingers now, avoiding eye contact with Meta Knight. “Being born free like you has some perks you probably don’t even notice.”  
“So you’re trying to experience living free while you’re here on Earth?”  
“…Perhaps. But I’ll always go back eventually, you know. I have a job to do and there are people counting on me.” More finger twiddling, less eye contact. A nervous tilt to his voice, Meta Knight notices.   
“…Of course.”  
The silence aches within the now pregnant pause.  
“…Hey, want to get Kirby some food? You can take my car out to one of the places nearby and park there. I’m sure he’d appreciate it after everything that’s happened this morning.”  
“…No problem, Dedede.” Dedede just nods in affirmation.  
“There’s a place nearby, actually, named McDonalds. You liked some of their food when I brought it back to you from Earth, so y’know…You can stop there if you want something you might like too. Or not, I’m not the boss of you, so…”  
“Not anymore.”  
Dedede exhales a breathy laugh. “Of course not, no.”  



	6. you can't have your mcrib and eat it (or at all, actually)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's just meta knight going to mcdonalds  
> huge kudos again to my wonderful girlfriend for supporting and inspiring me throughout <3 <3

Two miles. That’s how far away the “McDonald’s” was from Dedede’s summer resort. Two miles, Meta Knight thinks, and all that goddamn fuss. He’s said it to himself a great amount of times that humans have, as a species, lost their minds, but their transport system just proves it! Two miles of asphalt chaos, his windows open to the dry plains air, everyone around him honking their car horns loudly as if he didn’t hear it the first goddamn time!   
Parking his car in the easiest spot to reach without great maneuvers, Meta Knight steps out into the courtyard of the place- he knows that humans call it the “parking lot”- and fiddles with the car key until he can open up the back-seat door for Kirby to emerge. To his comfort, Kirby is only mildly perturbed by the chaos of the road, and still happy to see Meta Knight, though he insists in crawling through to the front seats and being let out through the front doors. Meta tolerates it silently, his gaze quiet and fixed- he had insisted to Kirby that he was to sit in the back seat as opposed to the passenger seat. It was safer that way. But thank everything those shoes are new and clean, Meta Knight wonders aloud, as this metal monster that Dedede calls a car can’t be easy to clean. In fact, he asks himself silently this time, why is anyone allowed to drive without a license like he could? Swooping in before Kirby can run into the road in haste for food, Meta Knight clutches Kirby and balances him on his shoulders, eliciting a few shrieks of joy from the small now-human as he uses his newfound position to flap his hands in front of Meta Knight’s eyes. Meta Knight can’t help but laugh himself, temporarily blinded by tiny playful hands over his face.   
Must be what family’s for… Dedede’s pretty lucky.   
Despite the trial of getting there and Dedede’s enthusiastic recommendation, Meta Knight quickly finds the “McDonald’s” to be underwhelming as establishments go. The walls are a beige plaster and the seats uncomfortable plastic, carrying with them the unfortunate air that the restaurant is only really clean at all because nobody else is there during the middle of what Meta assumes is a working day for humans living in this particular part of the world. But it’s okay. There’s a playplace in the corner for Kirby- fashioned from bright plastics and small round things- that he notices only when Kirby enthusiastically dashes towards it. And it’s quiet, with nobody else there except them and a pair of staff, one in the left-hand corner mopping and one at the counter. Meta Knight stretches his shoulders and leans back onto the seat in a way Dedede once told him humans use to assert power- “back arched, arms firmly on the top of your seat, and bam!”. He’s sitting there for a few minutes before the staffer at the counter looks over at him quizzically, and a few more minutes before they call out to him.   
“Excuse me, but if you’re not going to order I don’t think I can let you stay.”  
“What?”  
“Y-you heard me. Store policy.”  
“I’ve been waiting to order here.”  
“That’s not how it works here. You have to come up to the counter to order.”  
“…Oh.”  
Another silence emerges and hangs in the air. Meta Knight’s had about enough of awkward silences at this point, he decides, so he hauls himself out of the seat and walks over to where the staff member is waiting for him awkwardly.   
“What would you recommend for a younger customer, ma’am?”  
“Well, uh, we have our kids meal, the Happy Meal. It comes with a free toy!”  
“Is it an edible toy?”  
“N-no, it’s just a regular toy.”  
“…Hmm. Well, I guess that’s fine. One of those, please.”  
“What would you like in the meal?”  
“Um…Anything is fine. He’s not picky.” Meta Knight strums his finger on the counter, reflexively disguising that he wouldn’t know what was available even if Kirby would have some kind of preference.  
“Cheeseburger, then. Anything else?”  
“Yes. I’d like an, ah, a McRib.”  
“Sorry, we don’t serve those anymore. They’re limited edition items.”  
“What?”  
“It’s just the way things are.”  
“Ah…So much has changed since I last visited here. W-what else do you serve?”  
“Um…”  
“In fact, I’ll just take a cheeseburger. But a bigger one.”  
“Do you mean the Big Mac?”  
Meta Knight isn’t sure what he’s talking about anymore, if he’s honest with himself. “Yes. I’d like a Big Mc, thank you.” He can see it in the server’s eye that she feels like she’s talking to an alien. It’s a puzzled expression, and he can’t blame her whatsoever, considering that she’s barely even wrong. He listens to her read out the price and thank him, but doesn’t pay much attention, simply sliding over the $10 note Dedede gave him and insisting she keep the change.   
“You’ve got a cute kid, you know.”  
“Huh?”  
“You know, the one in the play area. He looks sweet. And most kids I’ve met his age are real picky eaters, even somewhere like here.”  
“Well- he’s not exactly my kid. I’m looking after him.”  
“Really? You look alike.”  
“He’s my nephew.”  
“Ah. You’re a good uncle, taking him out to eat like this.”  
“T-thanks.” At this point Meta Knight is flushing red and on the brink of excusing himself from the conversation- he would if he wasn’t waiting to get food for himself and Kirby. Perhaps he’d be content without the food, but Kirby wouldn’t, especially after he was promised it and endured Meta Knight’s rusty driving skills. So he looks over to the play area again to see Kirby in amongst the many plastic balls contained within a pit, tossing them around energetically, waves to him once and signals him a “thumb’s up”- again a human gesture of approval. Kirby waves back before diving back in again.  
I was right, Meta Knight thinks, this isn’t going to be so bad. As long as Kirby’s happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't live in the US so i don't know how much anything costs there, hence the convenient price avoidance


	7. dear dedediary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dedede is the archetype of fictional characters who definitely keep a diary. he's jealous of the pink ones with the voice locks, but he's too attached to his current brown leather one to replace it. and yeah, this dude's got some pretty huge diary entries. side effect of emotional repression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again for my wonderful girlfriend and also for everyone who's read up to this point, you guys are the best.

July 10th, 20xx.

Dear Diary,

Now’s finally the time Meta Knight and Kirby are taking that trip to Earth I was going to propose. But it didn’t work out like I planned.

The whole thing was Meta Knights initiative, actually. He wanted to get Kirby away from a summer forest fire until the other residents rebuild. He might be a little paranoid someone’s out to get Kirby or him, actually, but that’s neither here nor there. I don’t doubt he can protect himself if it were true, anyway. He contacted me about a stay the day before I had planned to come here regardless. And I obliged him. Perhaps the original plan was to ask him here a few days after I arrived, a few day’s stay so I can extend my time on Earth, but this suffices. And I might have a better excuse for being here much longer than usual.

You remember what I said about my family before? As soon as I’m not in complete contact with them they’re all up in my face trying to get every detail of what I’m doing and why out of me. It bugs me like nothing else- can’t a guy get some privacy, even if he is the king? And it’s my kingdom, not theirs, even if they might feel like it. But whatever. They’re not really big fans of Meta (he’d have me slain for using that shortening, heh) or Kirby either. Yet they’re obsessed with whatever “entertaining” is. It means having a lot of people you vaguely know in a room dressed up nice drinking and exchanging small talk. No thanks. And being a “good host”, which means you clean every room (including the ones your guests aren’t allowed to go into) of your huge house and don’t have any fun whatsoever.

It would ruin your image to not be a good host, in their eyes. So now I’m hosting guests on Earth, I’ll just tell them that I’m being too much of a good host to come back and trifle with their ice balls and decorative parties some several hours away from where I’m perfectly fine, thank you. I won’t say it’s Meta and Kirby, though. The conflict between being a conscripted good host and those “rambunctious layabouts” could cause them some critical injury by forcing them to think too much about their own ideas.

I’m not just using Meta and Kirby for my own ulterior motives though. It’s early days, but being able to hang out with them is far from the worst… Meta is uptight and prickly still, Kirby the opposite, enough so that you’d wonder how they’re the same species (I mean…I think they are?). But it’s fun to get a rise out of Meta. He went to McDonalds earlier in the week (Earth restaurant, interesting place, questionable food) and when he returned I could see pressure marks on the wheel of my car where he had been gripping constantly. He pretended like he didn’t know anything when I asked him about it, so I winked at him, which made him very touchy and flustered. He refuses to go back to McDonalds regardless of how much Kirby asks him to. Kirby’s very enthusiastic about the food there. He’s very enthusiastic about Earth, actually. He adapts well, which is honestly no surprise, but it’s comforting to know he’s feeling okay here. That kid goes through a lot. And… Some of that is, was, admittedly my fault. Trust me to get my ass handed to me by a child for doing the wrong thing. Now I’m just glad he’s okay, even when things get scarier. He likes the park in town and the toy section in the library, where Meta Knight sits and reads books on the history of swords and knighthood on Earth. I’d like to join them when I read recipe books there, but it’d be embarrassing, and Meta clearly prefers to be left alone.

We have a lot of history together.

And I don’t really know what that makes us. I could call him a friend, but friends probably communicate with each other better. That time… To this day I can’t blame him for what he did. I was in the wrong. A lot, back then. I became lax in my duties, closed my eyes, hoped for the best. Everything since then has kept me awake. Even if my family thinks it’s silly, even if they resent Meta for trying to usurp me that one time. It’s why they don’t like him, even after I’ve forgiven him, and they’re not sure why I keep associating with him. They don’t recognize that I owe Meta something and I’m still looking for a way to repay him. Hopefully our “friendship” goes some way towards achieving that… At least I know he’s an ally. I’d loathe to be on the receiving end on anything he can do. His strength is self-evident and impressive. Though it’s not of much interest to him (probably) I’m certain he could do very well in a tournament. Even against some of the strongest fighters in the world. Maybe we would be able to go somewhere like that together and fight as a tag team.

Or maybe I’d just slow him down. Even Kirby is getting stronger than me these days. No wonder my parents are pressuring me to marry. Not that I’ll hear a word of it for a while, so I have to thank Meta for that as well. I never taught them how to call me properly, and all their mail is hand delivered to me so I can ignore it for a few days personally. But Earth…Earth is even better.

Oh! I can hear the door unlocking right now. Meta left earlier to go take a walk with Kirby up to the river view I told him about. So I should find somewhere to hold this. If he finds it I’d be wholly mortified. Most of my private things go in my closet, underneath my laundry pile, so I’m sorry, diary, but you’re going undercover for a bit.

Until next time,

Dedede.


	8. meba nite!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyone here know i love my gf? if no, now you know, if yes now you remember. huge thanks to the girl who can inspire me to write a multi-chapter fanfiction for characters from a game i'm not even any good at.

“Do you think being on Earth might make Kirby speak?”  
“What?”  
It’s 5pm in the afternoon when Dedede asks the question. He’s unpacking the groceries that Meta Knight picked up, having successfully executed Dedede’s crash course in produce shopping, and it comes as natural as anything. Meta Knight looks up from the receipt at him when he does.   
“Kirby already speaks. He says plenty of words.” Meta Knight mumbles. “Just in his own unique way.” And Kirby perks up at the mention of his name, tapping on the table a few times.   
“Poyopoyore!”   
“See? That’s fine.”  
“I mean- I wasn’t saying it wasn’t fine. Just that it would be interesting to have Kirby say some real words.” Dedede turns around to ruffle Kirby’s soft hair, pollen and twigs falling out as he does. “What’s with all this mess in his hair?”  
“Poya!”  
“Bush.”  
“What about a bush?”  
“Oh, he wanted to go and mess around in a bush,” Meta Knight replies, head still focused down on the receipt. “He had a good time.”  
“Hmm. Well, I don’t think there are any problems with letting children play in bushes, so…Good work.”  
“Thanks. Hey, Dedede.” Meta Knight can see he’s trying to fix Kirby’s hair back into its pre-ruffled state.  
“What!?”  
“What are all these beauty products for?”  
“I have to look my best. What’s the point of inhabiting a different body if I’m not going to take good care of it?”  
“Huh. Maybe I should try “moisturizer” if it’s so good. What does it do?”  
“Stops- stops your skin drying out.” Meta Knight stands up suddenly and presses his face up close to Dedede’s, causing him to learn back in surprise and re-shuffle Kirby’s hair in fright.  
“Do you think my skin needs it? If you know so much about the human body-“  
“Hey! Yeesh, tell a guy when you’re about to get up in his face so suddenly.”  
“Sorry. So?”  
“Your skin is perfectly smooth. Admirably so. Is that what you want me to say, Meta?”  
“You can’t just call me Meta because I annoyed you. I have a title for a reason-!”  
“Meba!”

  
Meta Knight and Dedede turn to face the source of the sudden noise. Kirby. His face is plush, his eyes are full of stars, and neither of them know if Kirby quite gets the significance of what he just did.   
“Meba Nite!”  
“Ya hear that, Meba Nite?” squawks Dedede excitedly. “He can say something!” Meta Knight can only let out an audible groan before Dedede begins clapping for Kirby to repeat the two words again.  
“Good job, Kirbo! Try it again!”   
“Meba Nite! Meba Nite!” Suddenly Kirby’s clapping back just as excitedly and looking at Meta Knight’s face expectantly for him to join in.  
“Why this?”  
“Meba Nite…”  
“At least encourage him!”   
“I encourage him all the time! It just- it just makes me sound silly, the way he says my name.”  
“He’ll get it right one day. At the moment it’s just cute!” And Meta Knight can’t really deny it to himself that it’s cute, especially with Kirby’s hands outstretched. So he sighs and opens his mouth once.  
“Meta Knight. Me-ta. Ni-ght.”  
“Meba?”  
“Fine. That’s just fine, actually.” He sighs once more. “Good one, Kirby.”  
“He’s a sweet kid. And this’ll mean he’ll fit in better with human kids around his age. I was worried about him before, but you know what? I think Kirby is going to be totally fine.”  
“Good…”

  
“So we could maybe leave him at daycare for a bit.”  
“Daycare?”  
“A place where people who uh, they’re trained to look after kids? And they do that. If you pay them and stuff.”  
“Interesting… You don’t think Kirby might be too much for them to handle?”  
“Not really, as long as he can speak what he needs out loud. Let’s try and get him to use a few different words.”  
“Really? We can’t pressure hi-“  
“Hey, Kirby!” Dedede squawks again.   
“Poyo?”  
“Can you say….Fruit?”  
“Poyo…” Kirby contemplates the request in silence for a few seconds, hands over his lips in quiet. “Fuit?” he then chirps, hands slapping down onto the table creating a jarring noise. Dedede leans over to Meta Knight and whispers.  
“We’re on to something. Get some tomatoes from the fridge.”  
“He already ate the fridge ones, I just restocked-“  
“The ones from the bag, then!” Meta Knight rolls his eyes and leans over the table to pick them up. Dedede starts clapping and looks straight into Kirby’s eyes for a second time.  
“Fuit good! Maybe…” Dedede points to the small red produce. “Tomatoes?”  
“Tomabos…”  
“Good, good! Perhaps you could ask for one. Say- Meta Knight, tomatoes!”  
“Dedede…”  
“Meba Nite, tomabos!” Kirby squeaks. Hesitantly, Meta Knight removes the top wrapping from the punnet of tomatoes and gingerly picks one off the stem, pausing for a moment to choose the reddest one with the least visible imperfections. He hands it off to Kirby, who hurriedly plucks it from Meta Knight’s grip and places it in his mouth, rolling it around before biting and letting a few seeds spill out and onto his shirt.   
“You probably shouldn’t train him to just go around demanding snacks from me, you know.”  
“Eh, as long as it’s not me who has to get them.” Meta Knight glares at Dedede, somehow without even moving his eye properly.  
“Sorry, sorry. Kirby, I got another one for you!”  
“Mm?” A little more of the tomato goes onto his shirt, and Meta Knight sighs internally when he remembers how much of a pain using human washing machines is.  
“Meta Knight, please.” Kirby contemplates the short sentence for a couple of seconds before blurting out his reply.  
“Meba Nite peas!”  
“Is that better?”  
“I guess.” Against his better judgement, Meta Knight hands Kirby another tomato as a reward, promising himself internally that this was the last treat Kirby would get before dinner later. “Makes me wonder how he picked this up so easy and suddenly.”  
“…Maybe he was just ready, you know? He knew how to do it for a while now, but he was just waitin’ until he was comfortable. ‘S not a bad thing or whatever.”  
“He has a lot of surprises in him for sure. I don’t think I’ll ever quite understand him perfectly…”


	9. two bros, sitting in a big car, 5ft apart cuz they're not gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> points if you can get where the karaoke alone idea comes from. i don't endorse driving without a license.

“I don’t see why I can’t drive us home” Meta Knight moans, lounging in the passenger seat of Dedede’s slightly-worn family car, “smart phone” in his hands and his eyes on the road in front of them.  
  
“Because you’re a fucking terrible driver, Meta Knight.” Dedede replies. His eyes are on the road too, but he’s looking out at the cars in front for their signals, paused at a traffic light. “And you don’t have a license.”  
  
“You need a license for these?”  
  
“Yeah. I’m not sure why I let you drive this before, actually, you should at least have me around when you do.”  
  
“Oh joy. And- hey! You just swore! You can’t do that in front of Kirby, he’s too young to hear language like that, I’m astonished at this behaviour from you-“  
  
“Meta Knight! We just dropped Kirby off at the daycare! That’s why we’re here in the first place!”  
  
“…Oh.” Another pregnant pause emerges. _Great_ , Meta Knight thinks. _Maybe I should apologize to him for getting mad. But then he might shove it in my face_.  
  
“It’s okay. Just figured you’d have a better memory than that, legendary warrior of the stars.”  
  
“When did I call myself that, Dedede? Your memory might be the worst out of us.” Dedede scoffs at the statement.  
  
“I can remember my family history back 15 generations.” Meta Knight rolls his eyes back, causing Dedede to flinch for a second. _Geez, I wonder if he can tell that I’m lying out of my ass right now..._

“So what you’re saying is that you’re inbr-“  
  
“WATCH THE ROAD, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!” The voice sounds from the man in the lane next to Dedede. In a panic, Dedede notices that the lights have changed during the spat and are now blinking a neon green, urging the cars forward- and that he’s caused a miniature traffic jam. Trying to maintain composure he floors the gas and speeds forward on the freeway, though not before Meta Knight can get a look at the rage-filled harasser. A man in his late 30s, at least from what Meta Knight knows about humans. Bald and wearing a black t-shirt with some kind of white logo on it. A faux tough-guy. He knows inside that Dedede should have been more responsible, but he can’t fight the urge to teach him a lesson for yelling. But in his human form he can’t outspeed a car, he knows, so he slumps back down into his seat.  
“Sorry for distracting you. My bad driving rubs off, clearly.”

“It’s okay. We’re nearly home now.”

Ten minutes pass in relative silence as Dedede guides the car, increasingly then decreasingly carefully, back into the sizeable garage of the suburban home. Meta Knight spends the drive thinking about Kirby, and if he’s doing okay, then Dedede. His motives, his personality. Then nothing, watching the walled-off forest and dirt pass by on the side of the road. He steps out in his own little universe, and isn’t prepared for Dedede’s next question on the driveway.

“Do you want to do something? Now that Kirby’s not around.” Meta Knight suddenly snaps out of his daze.

“Huh?”

“Like, you know. We can have some fun as well.”

“What would we do together without Kirby?”

“…Should have thought about that before asking. Well, humans like to imbibe mind-altering drinks together socially, but I tried that and I wasn’t into it. Or they order food somewhere else and they eat it together.”

“We don’t have to be like humans just because it’s Earth. Human customs sound a little ridiculous.” Dedede shrugs.

“Well, there are no sword-fighting practice ranges around here, so you might have to get used to human customs.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

“…Sometimes I go to a place in the city nearby where you get to rent a private room to sing and eat together.”

“I’m not a singer, Dedede.”

“It’s not about the quality, it’s about the bonding! We get to share the music together, even if we’re not great at singing it. And the food is good. I love the fish. It’s called “Karaoke”.” Meta Knight tries to resist making a penguin joke.

“Well, it’s not the worst idea you’ve ever had. I would be fine, if you’re interested in it.”

“Great. Kirby could kick all of our asses if he was there, and some of the songs have curses in them. Big problem from your perspective.”

“You don’t swear in front of him either. Are we just getting back into the car?”

“…Shit, I guess.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The venue for Dedede’s little flight of fancy is notably non-distinct, nestled amongst other business and restaurant venues in the centre of town. Its several signs are in a script that Meta Knight knows isn’t close to the local writing system, posing questions he’s not hugely interested in the answers to. He’s not quite sure about the proper etiquette here, so when he gets out of the car he waits for Dedede to finish the parking, pay and then open the door for him. He realizes a minute later he looked like a loiterer. _Oh well_. Dedede proceeds to greet the man at the counter and reserve them a room like he’s done it a thousand times before. Aside from the part where he looks him in the eye and mutters unsteadily-

“This is a friend of mine from out of town.” The man at the counter smiles at Meta Knight briefly, only as if to acknowledge him, and Meta Knight tries to smile back but ends up grimacing while trying to look at Dedede at the same time. Dedede walks off the next minute, gesturing for Meta Knight to follow him into wherever they’re supposed to go. A couple doors down they enter a dark room together, lit up with neon lights and a strange blinking human machine.

“Why were you so specific with that guy and who I am?”

“… I come in here alone, mostly. It felt strange to suddenly be here with another person.” Dedede anxiously runs his hand down his sleeve. “I guess I didn’t say it for any real reason.”

“Nevermind. Let’s just enjoy this. What song do you want first?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please check out my tumblr at millimallow.tumblr.com! it's got links to my other writing and edits and has some important links as well. checking it out and supporting me is hugely appreciated. and i read every comment and notice every kudo, so if you've left them, thank you so much!


	10. you and me alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> without sounding like a broken record, the biggest thanks to my girlfriend possible, not just for listening to me and encouraging me but also just for being the most wonderful her <3
> 
> more of my work and methods to support me are available on my blog at millimallow.tumblr.com. and thanks again to everyone who's left comments and kudos!

The private karaoke room Meta Knight and Dedede stand in flickers with fluorescent light during the middle of the day. There are no windows, creating the illusion of darkness and the reality of it inside. Two plush leather couches oppose each other in a sunken pit, framed by two karaoke machines fitted with the same magenta light. Entering it, Meta was almost stunned at the difference between this and the rest of human society. Humans relished living in the light, but they retreated to the night even during the middle of the day for recreation. How visually energetic- how strange! And it was just embarrassing to sing out loud in front of other people.

_But… Dedede seemed to be having fun._

He was belting out a song by an artist Meta Knight didn’t quite remember hearing before. Dedede had mentioned her before when he offered to play his music in the car, an offer he retracted when he joked that he only really listened to this musician and a few others. He said that Kirby might like them, but they weren’t to Meta Knight’s taste at all, and he was the guest. And he didn’t know much human music, so they listened to the radio. But it wasn’t bad music, really, albeit too energetic for him to listen to in his free time. It was the sort of thing he would associate with the strange, enchanting lighting of their current abode.

Dedede could sing loud and clear when he wanted to. Right now he was taking on the chorus of his current song, harkening back to the title of the song itself, repeating its message over and over again.

“I wanna cut through the clouds, break the ceiling-“ His face is flush with determination and energy as the words leave his lips.  
“I wanna dance on the roof, you and me alone” Meta Knight can’t help but wonder if this is addressed to anyone. If Dedede has a current love, or if he just likes what he likes.  
“I wanna cut to the feeling, oh yeah  
I wanna cut to the feeling, oh yeah!” _Dedede wasn’t the sort of person who got too deep into his feelings, so I don’t know if he’d even relate to this very well, but…_

The beat gets steadier and more intense as it builds up towards what Meta Knight assumes is the end. The chorus breaks off after a few more lines into its penultimate section-

“Take me to emotion, I want to go all the way  
Show me devotion and take me all the way  
Take me to emotion, I want to go all the way  
Show me devotion and take me all the way”

_Definitely a love song. And I thought Dedede was always fine with the royal marriage his family had always intended for him. The sort of marriage where meeting before the wedding date was almost sensationally taboo. The devotion, though… A very kingly sentiment. A lover like a knight._

The song peters out after a few more lines. Dedede’s breathless at the end, gasping audibly from the intensity of his participation. And Meta Knight, unsure of how to react at the end of his performance, gives him a few hesitant claps and smiles when Dedede looks back at him.

“Whew- ah- I got really into it, I think.”

“You’re a good singer. Better than I would have taken you for.” Dedede flashes a smile back, face red.

“I’ll- I’ll take that as a compliment, hah.” He foists in his pocket for a few seconds and pulls out a handkerchief that he proceeds to wipe over his face to soak up a few beads of sweat.

“You were having a good time as well.”

“What can I say? I just have a lot of fun doing it.”

“Do you like romantic songs?” Meta Knight asks, then immediately regrets asking, worrying it’s the sort of thing that’s just too personal to ask someone of such a high status.

“Romantic songs? Well, I… I don’t really think of this song as being romantic. Sure, it’s about a relationship, but romance is stuff like candles and back massages and roses. And those songs are good, sometimes. This one is about leaving your limitations behind to connect with another person.”

“Hmmm… This is the “Carly Rae Jepsen” person you mentioned previously, right?”

“Well. I don’t know if she wrote the song from her own perspective, but it’s her music. Her work is always excellent.” There’s a silence of a couple seconds. “Do you want to use the machine next?”

“I don’t know any human music.” Meta Knight says. It’s not a lie, really, though it’s hardly his main reason for reluctance.

“I’ll introduce you to another Carly song. That way we can sing along, and I’ll cover for you if you can’t follow it quite right.” Meta Knight sighs, but changes his tune when Dedede looks disappointed at his response.

“Can I do it like this?” He gestures to the leather sofa that he’s currently slack against.

“I… I don’t see why not. The microphone stretches, so…” Dedede picks up the second microphone, which until now remained turned off on the small wooden table also within the depression in the room’s layout. He hands it gingerly to Meta Knight, who accepts it with a similar sense of trepidation. “Maybe you’ll like one of her more popular songs better than the others. Can’t get too deep too quick.” Meta Knight nods, trying to psyche himself up internally for the singing that was about to begin. It takes Dedede less time than Meta Knight thought to select the song and inform him that it’s about to begin. It was now or never for the both of them, Dedede mouthing “one, two, three, four” hurriedly under his breath.

The song begins with an instrumental of blasting synthesized bass, electronic and triumphant, where Meta Knight tries to collect himself and tap his foot along to the beat. The determination and enthusiasm in Dedede’s eyes is hard to miss and frighteningly sincere- Meta Knight can see it as clear as day, and feels like he’s watching an entirely different side of Dedede that he’s never been wholly privy to. It gives him confidence, to see him alight like this.

Then, like a tidal wave, the lyrics kick in.

“ _You're stuck in my head_  
_Stuck on my heart  
Stuck in my body, body  
I wanna go  
Get outta here  
I'm sick of the party, party  
I'd run away  
I'd run away with you_  
  
_This is the part  
You gotta say  
All that you're feeling, feeling_  
 _Packing a bag_  
 _Leaving tonight_  
 _While everyone’s sleeping, sleeping  
Let's run away  
I'll run away with you_  
  
_Cause you make me feel like_  
 _I could be driving you all night_  
 _And I'll find your lips in the streetlights_  
 _I wanna be there with you, ooh_  
  
_Baby, take me to the feeling_  
 _I'll be your sinner in secret  
When the lights go out_  
 _Run away with me, run away with me_  
 _Baby, every single minute_  
 _I'll be your hero and win it_  
 _When the lights go out_  
 _Run away with me, run away with me_  
  
_Up in the clouds  
High as a kite_  
 _Over the city, city_  
 _We never sleep_  
 _We never try_  
 _When you are with me, with me_  
 _I wanna stay_  
 _I wanna stay here with you, ooh_  
  
_Cause you make me feel like_  
 _I could be driving you all night_  
 _And I'll find your lips in the streetlights_  
 _I wanna be there with you, ooh_  
  
_Baby, take me to the feeling_  
 _I'll be your sinner in secret  
When the lights go out_  
 _Run away with me, run away with me_  
 _Baby, every single minute_  
 _I'll be your hero and win it_  
 _When the lights go out_  
 _Run away with me, run away with me_  
  
_Hold on to me, I never wanna let you go, ooh_  
 _Over the weekend we could turn the world to gold, ooh_  
 _Hold on to me, I never wanna let you go, ooh_  
 _Over the weekend we could turn the world to gold_  
  
_My baby, take me to the feeling (take me to, take me to it)_  
 _I'll be your sinner, in secret (oh, when the lights go)_  
 _When the lights go out_  
 _Run away with me (just run away)_  
 _Run away with me (with me)_  
 _(Oh, yeah yeah) baby_  
 _Every single minute_  
 _I'll be your hero and win it_  
 _When the lights go out_  
 _Run away with me, run away with me_  
  
_Run away with me, run away with me_  
 _Run away with me, run away with me_ ”


	11. after the sun sets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a flashback chapter. huge thanks to my gf as always and to everyone who's commented, left kudos and/or bookmarked. you guys are the best. enjoy, and find more at millimallow/scribemallow.tumblr.com!

_One year earlier, at Dedede’s castle…_

At this point in the night, Dedede thinks, the balcony is far from the worst place to hide from your family. Despite the summer’s day, only moonlight illuminates the grounds now, and an unseasonal chill has set in the air. And so everyone else ha headed inside, away from the cold. Their voices are distant to him now, their fancy formal outfits but a vision inside his head. _What a shame_ , he thinks, that it’s his house and only here can he get a single moment of solitude. _I don’t want to see anyone here anyway_. He looks up at the sky and the night and the stars and tries to think of them and not why he’s so uncomfortable with his family planning a party at his house and only telling him two days in advance, leading him to panic in his room for one night and hurriedly make it presentable the next. Or why he’s so uncomfortable with all of the girls his family bring around to parade in front of him and try and win his attention. Why he’d prefer to be seeing Kirby of all people than spending any longer with the people who raised him.

He’s trying to not think about it, but it’s tougher than it should be. What a terrible night this has been. He looks down at the wide doors at the bottom and wonders how easily he’d be able to leave without someone noticing, considering how wrapped up they are in their own business, only looking for him when they need something.

Then, he sees something move in the distance. It’s nearly invisible against the darkness of the night sky, but for a second or so it blots out a little of the moon’s light, and Dedede’s sure it was there. He takes a single step to follow it before realizing that he’s still on the balcony, and sighing from the disappointment of knowing that unless he did something stupid he wouldn’t be able to get to it. But then he sees it again- covering a few stars this time, even faster than before, enough to make him doubt his own sanity a little. Until it starts to come closer. He’s not sure for a few seconds, but he’s surer than anything when he begins to hear the woosh of air and the sound of disrupted wind.

Meta Knight. Before he can really take in what happened, the masked fighter is standing on the ledge of the balcony, draping his cape across his face in a dramatic fashion. Unlike himself in the moment, Dedede smiles, knowing how typical this was of the almost-mysterious figure of confusing origin and motive. And before Meta Knight can announce his presence formally, Dedede addresses him like an old friend.

“Hey, Meta.” Taken aback, Meta stumbles for a few seconds on his words.

“Don’t call me that. Would you find it appropriate if I called you Dedede?”

“I don’t really care.” Dedede replies, smirking as he does to throw Meta Knight further off his balance.

“Regardless.” Meta Knight coughs into his cape suddenly. “It seems you have quite a commotion going on around here.” Dedede shrugs.

“It’s just a party. You know. Family around, they try to introduce me to some dame, we have punch and then there’s confetti and balloons everywhere.” The lack of facial response from Meta Knight intimidates Dedede still, but he expects it from someone wearing a mask.

Meta Knight takes up a sarcastic tone of voice. “I’m aggrieved by your decision to not invite me.”

“Eh, I didn’t plan this shindig anyway. It’s all a family affair. Hell, I didn’t even decide to throw the thing. I found out about it Wednesday night.” Then Dedede remembers the half-empty glass he’s balanced precariously on the ledge of the balcony. “Want some punch?” he quips, holding it out to Meta Knight, and to his surprise Meta Knight picks it up and drinks it through his mask. _That must be pretty inconvenient_.

“Who throws a party in someone else’s house without their permission?”

Dedede shrugs. “Ask my parents. If I do they’ll probably ream me out for being ungrateful or something. I don’t like parties that much.”

“Is nobody missing the host?”

“Eh, they’ll live without me.” Meta Knight picks up the glass again to shake the last few drops of punch out of it.

“Flying here made me thirsty.”

“I can’t imagine it’s something you can do easily.” There’s a silence as Meta Knight turns to face Dedede’s direction- out across the courtyard and towards the horizon- and then he speaks again.

“So… A _dame_ , huh?”

“Eh, don’t be like that about it. This happens all the time, you’re just not usually around for it to happen. My parents love to get these big ideas about who I’ll marry.” Dedede rustles around in the pocket of his formal robe for a hip flask, stainless steel but otherwise featureless, then takes a sip from it.

“What’s in that?” Meta Knight asks.

“More punch.”

“Right. So… Were you interested in her at all?”

“No. Having my parents around kills the mood dead, but even without them… She could be a nice person, but I prefer being alone. Like you.”

“We’re not alone now, are we?”

“I guess that’s true. More that I don’t want to marry yet. It turns me off when I think about it.” Another unspoken silence,  gazing off into the stars, Meta Knight recounting the constellations in his mind as Dedede wonders what it’d be like to live on another planet somewhere out there. “Thanks for letting me talk about this. It’s not something I get to say to anyone else, so… Invite yourself to one of these shitty parties any time you want.” Dedede holds out his hip flask to refill Meta Knight’s drink, the pinkish liquid and its strong scent of fruit and spice filling the glass til it was nearly half-full. He clinks them together, a distinctive sharp sound in the chill of night. “To loneliness, my friend.”

“To loneliness.”

They take a sip together, joined in the moment.


	12. popsicle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BIG thank you to my gf for being wonderful, thank you to everyone who's posted comments/left kudos and a thanks to YOU for reading, you wonderful person.

Meta Knight and Dedede stumble out of the karaoke bar a solid hour and a half later, drunk on laughter and exaggerated singing. Lost in the moment, they’re blinded by the daylight of an Oklahoman summer when they emerge from the darkness, Meta Knight wincing as the light hits his eyes.

“Who let it be so bright out here?”

“Beats me. Geez, and it’s so warm too. I miss that air conditioning.” Meta Knight nods in sympathy, resisting the urge to point out that while Dedede is in what he calls a “Hawaiian shirt” Meta Knight went out of the house in a blue turtleneck. “Want to go get some ice cream before we’re out of the city entirely?”

Meta Knight smiles. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Dedede pulls out his car keys, presses a single button, then invites Meta to climb in on the seat next to him when he opens the sizeable doors.

“We have air conditioning in here, too.” Dedede presses a black button with exaggerated effect, and Meta Knight can hear the satisfying jets of cool air pump in.

“A wonderful carriage indeed.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Dedede drives, Meta Knight realizes that he hasn’t been to this bit of the city yet. Dedede insisted on showing him around for a while when he arrived, but not this part. It’s lusher than the rest of the city, framed with plants and grasses that provide some shade from the sun.

“This is a new place.” Meta Knight mutters.

“It’s hard to get parked around here, and easy to get all caught up in the roads. Cuz it’s the park district. But I’m doin’ this for you!” He grins and gives Meta Knight a quick thumbs up before returning his hand to the wheel. And Meta Knight notices that, yes, there’s a lot of traffic around them and fewer parking spaces than usual.

_No wonder. It’s very nice._

After a while of twists and turns across the roadway, Dedede finds a place and parks, once more offering Meta Knight his hand getting out of the car. The light is dappled through the canopy of the trees which encircle a wide stretch of grass. In the far corner of the green is a large café, and closer to Meta Knight and Dedede is a single truck.

“What’s that truck doing there? I don’t see any ice cream.”

“Aha,” Dedede exclaims “your questions are one and the same! See, the ice cream is inside that truck. We just go up to it and order, and the guy in the van will just hand it to us from the window!”

“How do they get the ice cream in the truck without it melting?”

Dedede shrugs. “I dunno. Look, however they do it, it’s great.” Meta Knight considers that to be a sufficient answer, and he starts making his way to the truck before Dedede can even tell him to. “Hey! Wait up!”

“Don’t be so slow, then.”

“Why- this is how you’re gonna treat me now, huh?” Dedede shouts. Meta Knight knows that on the surface it’s accusatory, but he can’t help but notice a tinge of fondness in Dedede’s words. He slows down his pace to allow for Dedede to catch up with him, and he pats Dedede on the back when he does.

“Hey, big guy.”

“I can’t have you running away from me like a naughty dog, Meta Knight.”

“I’ll stay right by your side, then.” Meta Knight links his arm through Dedede’s, maintaining his pace all the while. Dedede looks at him with confusion at first, but then laughs and allows it to continue as they march towards the truck. They laugh together whenever Meta Knight tugs slightly to encourage Dedede, or throw him off his balance as a joke. Dedede does the same, eliciting giggles from Meta Knight until he’s wheezing with laughter.

“I won’t make it easy for you!”

And another second later they’re right behind the truck.

“Other side, genius.”

Dedede shrugs off Meta Knight’s joking insult and thanks his luck that there’s a short enough queue that Meta Knight can decide but not one so long that it’ll hold them up. They end up standing behind a tall brunette and her young daughter- Kirby’s age, Meta Knight thinks- as they look at the menu.

“Decided yet, Meta?”

“I decided long ago.”

Dedede giggles. “I’m having the orange creamsicle.”

The woman and her daughter leave, allowing Dedede and Meta Knight to stand at the front of the queue. Dedede puts on his most diplomatic smile and speaks.

“Hi, I’d like an orange creamsicle please. Meta, what do you want?” Meta Knight gives Dedede a sharp look, but speaks anyway.

“I’d like the cola popsicle, please. And some soft serve with the strawberry syrup.”

“You’re getting two ice creams!?”

“One of them is a popsicle, actually.” Meta Knight points out. Dedede grumbles under his breath, but he hands the money over to the cashier anyway, rolling his eyes as he does.

“You got me there, I guess.” They stand for a minute while the man behind the window slowly prepares Meta Knight’s ice cream. Then Dedede asks something.

“Hey, can we get an, uh… grape popsicle? As well as that, thanks.” He slides over another dollar bill to the guy, who places one on the counter.” Dedede then turns to Meta Knight. “You know, for Kirby. He’ll feel left out otherwise.”

 _Oh yeah, Kirby. He’ll be out of there soon, and he’ll be in the mood for some kind of snack…_ Something in Meta Knight’s heart sinks when he thinks about picking Kirby up again. He cares about Kirby a lot, but he likes having fun with Dedede too. Even if they annoy each other. Dedede seems to enjoy it too. And they can cuss without Kirby around, and make tons of noise. The kind of thing he doesn’t get to experience very often. Dedede picks up their order, shuffles the ice cream cone and popsicle over to Meta Knight, takes his own then begins walking back to the car.

“I’ll drive quick so they don’t melt before we get to Kirby. Oh, and you see that café in the corner?” Dedede stops and points to the building Meta Knight saw before. Meta Knight nods.

“That’s one of my favourite places. ‘S called Super Coffee Bros. Lots of fun people, family owned. We should go there sometime.”

“I’d like that, Dedede. I’ve had fun with you today, even without Kirby.”

“Hey, I’m glad you didn’t even have a bad time with just me.”

“Do you want to sing in the car, maybe?”

“With you? Always.”


	13. dededaycare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hmmm today i will write emotional tension
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who's left kudos, bookmarked, commented, or just read this series- you guys are the best. mad love to you. and to my girlfriend, the best girl in the whole world <3

Dedede and Meta Knight pull up to the daycare with remarkable speed. Meta Knight insists that Dedede doesn’t go an inch over the speed limit, of course, but the roads are surprisingly clear. Meta Knight’s holding the popsicle for Kirby against his own, trying to stop it melting violently in the hot summer sun. He feels it hard under his finger, so he assumes it’s still together as Dedede moans about the state of parking in the lot next to the red brick building. Lost in thought, Meta Knight is surprised when Dedede speaks nervously instead of opening the car doors.

“Can you go and get Kirby?”

Meta Knight looks over.

“Could we not go together?” he replies. Dedede shakes his head, not making eye contact, looking forward through the front window.

“You dropped him off, and they’ll recognize you… It’d be weird for me to go in and say I need Kirby. You know, Kirby is strong, but on Earth he’s just a kid. They have to keep him safe.” Meta Knight looks at Dedede, unsure. And trying to ascertain how he feels.

“You could say that we’re related.”

“We’re not. And we don’t look related at all.”

Meta Knight has to agree with that. They both have the blue hair, but there’s not really any other similarities between them- different frames, different heights, different appearances entirely.

“…I’ll go in, then.” Dedede grins again when he hears it.

“Thanks, Meta. Always looking out for your pal.”

As Meta Knight steps out of the car, he feels something he can’t quantify, and it frustrates him. He chalks it up to how difficult Dedede can be to understand sometimes, and walks towards the bush-shrouded wooden door leading in.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Bye, Kirby!”

Kirby’s sitting on the bench, waving his legs about and waiting for Meta Knight when the day ends. When the others leave they say goodbye to him with a wave and a smile, the name they called “fun” and “strange” on their lips, and Kirby feels… carefree. He looks around him at the entrance, still excited by the bright colours and crafts adorning the walls, remembering his adventures with yarn and crayons in the world he came from. He knows he’s been able to impress the other children, who stand in awe as Kirby crafts a perfect string replica of them using glue and paper, and when he thinks about it he wiggles his hands to match the tempo of his legs. He waves back to the leaving others as one of the caretakers cleans up messy toys strewn on the floor.

“You’ve had a busy day, haven’t you Kirby?”

Kirby nods in agreement with the young woman, her skin tan and her hair an oaky brunette.

“Do you know who’s coming to pick you up soon?”

He nods again, and tries to form the words with his mouth the way he did before. It takes him a second, but he’s able to verbalize it with a satisfied tone eventually-

“Meba Night!”

“Who’s Meba Nite?”

He’s not sure what to say in response. He ponders the question for a moment.

“…Meba Nite.”

“Right, okay. Will he be here soon?”

Kirby’s not sure what all the questions are for.

“Meba Nite… Yes!” The woman seems satisfied, albeit puzzled, leaving Kirby to his leg-swinging and happy waiting. Outside, Meta Knight is fumbling with his hands, wondering how to approach whoever’s at the daycare now. After a few deep breaths he slowly pulls down the doorhandle, stepping into the cool of the air-conditioned building and wiping the sweat away from his brow.

“Meba Nite!” He hears a voice cry. _Can Kirby really tell it’s me from this far away? I can’t even see him_ -

Before Meta Knight can finish his train of thought, Kirby comes running around the corner and tries to jump into Meta Knight’s arms. After his initial surprise, Meta Knight grabs Kirby as firmly as he can and tries- _who’d have thought that this human form would be weaker than my original one_ \- to hoist the young puffball over his shoulder with one gasp. The commotion is quickly approached by the daycare woman, who smiles and tries to make eye contact before she realizes that Meta Knight is wearing sunglasses indoors.

“Are you… Meba Nite?” she asks with a smile. Flinching internally at the mispronounciation of his name, more notable on a day when Dedede’s been calling him Meta non-stop, he tries to repeat the smile in the most convincing way he can. From the way the woman’s smile turns more awkward over time, he’s not sure it’s working.

“I am… Meta Knight, yes.”

“Oh! That’s an unusual name. Is it your full one?”

“Mhm.” Meta Knight nods uneasily. He’s not lying, really- he doesn’t have any other names- but it’s all his first name. He thinks. Humans have confusing names.

“Little kids call you whatever they like, huh?” She’s giggling, and again Meta Knight is unsure why. “So are you two related, or…?”

He has half a mind to admonish her for getting into his business, but he keeps a straight face and says what he thinks is the most convincing. “He’s my nephew. My brother’s son-“ He takes a look at Kirby’s starry blue eyes and paler skin- “adopted, though.” And he smiles when the woman seems to take it at face value.

“How nice of you to come pick him up, then. A handsome bachelor like you sounds like he’d be much too busy for that.”

Meta Knight smiles, preparing to turn back to the door.

“Well, I look out for him as much as I can.” He’s inching backwards further, trying to keep facing the woman- her name tag reads Rachel, but it’s too late for that now- until the last second. She waves goodbye to Kirby, prompting a goodbye wave from him as well, and then they’re out. Meta Knight takes a deep breath and looks out for Dedede’s car. He wonders how to even describe his relationship with Kirby. Even his relationship with Dedede is a difficult one. Sometimes he’s nice, sometimes he’s touchy… Sometimes they’re best friends, sometimes they’re on an entirely different wavelength. But for once, he doesn’t feel lonely.

“Hey kid, good news and bad news. There’s a popsicle for you in the car, but Dedede’s in there too. Think we’ll be able to fight him off for it?”


	14. hot stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .. u know the drill by now. love everyone who's read this, left comments, kudos, etc. and i also love my gf so!! there it is!! check out millimallow.tumblr.com and scribemallow.tumblr.com for more ok bye <3

Meta Knight didn’t understand the apeal humans saw in cooking outside- until now. Sitting on a handcrafted wooden bench outside Dedede’s suburban alien dwelling, feeling the cool grass beneath his feet and watching the sunset melt lazily into night, he thinks this might be heaven. Dedede had insisted on having what he called a “barbeque” outside after the debacle at Kirby’s daycare, and now it was happening. He hadn’t phrased it as an apology, he was still too coarse for that, but it certainly sufficed as one. If one was needed. Meta Knight tells himself to put these confused thoughts out of his mind for once and just enjoy it.

Lifting up the soft white bun, fried in butter on one side, Meta Knight checked out the ingredients. Some mysterious sauce which Dedede claimed was “secret”, lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole and crisp potato chips. It was true to what Dedede boastfully claimed was the “Dededeburger, of course!” before parading around in his apron, written on which was a bold-font statement “the REAL burger king”. _Is there even someone else who’d call themselves the burger king?_ Between drives to the store, Meta Knight remembered, Dedede had explained to him in detail how America didn’t have a monarchy in the way Dreamland does. _Maybe this “Burger King” is a foreign figure… An enemy of the state_.

“Hey, Meta Knight, do you want some more guacamole?” The sound of his own name made Meta Knight turn towards Dedede. Nodding appreciatively, he then turned from Dedede towards Kirby, who was playing in the corner of the beige picket-fence backyard. He had obtained a few bugs from the ground and was observing them with a curious eye- all fine, as long as he didn’t try to eat them. Meta Knight had said to him, with a grave tone, that they didn’t really know what might happen if Kirby tried to eat something strange in human form. Better than him trying to touch the grill to get the burgers off before they were even cooked. Dedede curses under his breath when he gets hit by a stray hot spark, too quiet for Kirby to pick up on it.

“I’m usually way more in my element when I do this on Earth. Looks like I’m getting performance anxiety doing this for a crowd.” Dedede says to Meta Knight afterwards, smiling wide. Meta Knight smiles back, calmed by the open air and the sound of insects in the distance.

“Do you cook like this for yourself on Earth?” Meta Knight asks. Dedede’s silent for a second, but he nods.

“Don’t get on my back about how sad it is. Can’t a bachelor have some fun now and again?” Dedede replies. Meta Knight adverts his eyes, a little guilty inside about his intention to joke about how Dedede could easily just order some food instead of going to this length if he had no-one to impress or serve. “Awh, you’re right. It is a little depressing. I just like the theatrics of it more than anything- I mean, watch this!” In time with the end of his sentence, Dedede flips one of the grilling burgers over, imbued with a great confidence. It lands flat on the grill once more and with remarkable speed. Hesitant for a moment, Meta Knight then starts clapping for Dedede, a motion that’s copied by Kirby after a few seconds. Meta Knight saw Kirby- he was playing with bugs, not paying attention to Dedede- but the enthusiasm warms his heart regardless. Dedede laughs at the sound, rubbing his hand behind his head and blushing, closing his eyes and only opening them once the clapping commenced.

“You are good at it.”

“Awww, thanks. It’s maybe not clap-worthy, but you can’t beat a good bit of entertainment with your food. And I can’t tell any good jokes, so this is what it is.”

Meta Knight smiles. “What do you call a fish with no eyes?”

“Is this some kind of penguin joke?” Dedede grunts.

“No.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. I don’t know what you’d call a fish with no eyes.”

Meta Knight grins. “A fshhhhhhhhhh.”

“More like dead. It’s a cold world out there. No eyes doesn’t seem like it’d provide a fighting chance for that fish” Dedede quips, and Meta Knight rolls his eyes.

“Maybe neither of us is a great comedian. Or it’s because I found that joke on a fortune cookie, and even then I wasn’t laughing at it.”

Kirby peeks up from his corner to overhear the conversation. Eager to move the topic away from fish death, Dedede grins at Kirby and waves his tongs.

“You want a burger, little guy?” On hearing the sentence, Kirby’s eyes light up with stars and he nods enthusiastically.

“Kirby burber! Kirby burber now!” Meta Knight can’t help but smile at the excited tone in his voice.

“Hey, hey, don’t be so hasty!” Dedede exclaims. “These things are hot, so you be careful.” He lifts one of the remaining patties off of the barbeque and slides it onto one of the bun halves he has prepared, topping it with all of the other ingredients to his signature burger, then kneels down to where Kirby sits and hands him the fully formed dish. Kirby immediately tries to wrestle the large stack into his small hands before he settles for taking little corner bites plucked with his fingers. “Again, it’s still hot stuff, so be careful.”

An impulse passes Meta Knight’s mind that he can’t really ignore. He hears Dedede say “hot stuff” and, in that second, he wants to turn and say to Dedede- “just like you”. _It’s funny, sure, but there’s clearly no competition when Dedede’s already admitted he doesn’t really care about telling jokes_. Suddenly, the feeling of denim fabric underneath Meta Knight’s fingers is much more intense, and he becomes jarringly aware of the space around him.

_Why do I want to say something so silly to Dedede? Is it a joke, or is it a compliment? How would he even react?_


	15. your heroic duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing i write can go very long without having a kitty in it.
> 
> updates are posted on scribemallow.tumblr.com when they're released! and as always, thank you to everyone who's read, left kudos, comments, followed me.. whatever. and once more, thank you to my gf and her great kirby knowledge! <3

The first time Meta Knight really interacts with human society is when he finds a flyer stapled to a post. He’s in town for groceries, a duty that Dedede designated to him after the burger night depleted their supplies of virtually everything Dedede had in his cupboard- _which was mostly burger ingredients_ , Meta Knight realizes. He can see it stapled there, blowing in the light summer breeze, white and conspicuous from many meters away. Tentatively, looking not to damage it, he restrains it with his hands and takes a look.

There’s a lot of numbers on there, which Meta Knight assumes are phone details. And there’s a picture of what looks to be a cat. He knows that humans live their lives with animals- mostly cats and dogs, who startle him when he hears them bark- and that they like them a lot, but even with the cute appearance of most cats, he’s not so sure. A large, capitalized word is emblazoned on the top- “LOST CAT- PLEASE HELP”. _Lost?_ He asks himself internally whether it’s even worth keeping an animal if it’ll get lost, but he can’t help feeling somewhat sympathetic. After all, Kirby does his own thing most of the time, but deep in Meta Knight’s heart he can’t ignore that losing him would be devastating.

“Then again,” he mumbles to himself, “Kirby isn’t a cat.” Regardless, he takes out the “Smart Phone” from his pocket- Dedede insists on keeping contact even if Meta Knight dislikes the device and its annoyances- and takes a photo, lining it up for the perfect shot of the ginger-and-white kitty and its wide blue eyes. Trying to remember how to text on the thing again, he attaches the file to a message, intended for Dedede. Hardly a difficult task, as Dedede is the only contact on Meta Knight’s phone (if they agree on nothing else, they agree that Kirby is too young to have one yet), but it takes him a deal of time to make the phone work anyway. He presses send on the typo-laden message, and slips the phone back in his pocket, expecting a period of silence from Dedede (who had insisted he was doing something very important at home). Instead, after only a few seconds, his phone buzzes and lights up.

Meta Knight: Hey Dedede Have You Seen This Cat. There Is A Flyer Outside The Grocery Store. He Is Lost Apparently.

Penguin: isnt that the fat fuck who keeps meowing at the back door for treats

Meta Knight: Language Dedede

Penguin: i can say whatever i fucking want

Meta Knight: So You Have Seen The Cat

Penguin: ya i see him all the time. or at least a cat that looks the same lol. a lot of cats look very similar.

Meta Knight: How Do You Know That The Cat’s Name Is Lol

Penguin: no that’s an acronym for laughing out loud lol

Meta Knight: A Lost Cat Is No Laughing Matter Dedede

Penguin: right sorry. well i had to get that cat out of the backyard before i was grillin last night. he was hungie as hell

Meta Knight: Do You Really Think It Is This Cat?

Penguin: same markings, worth a shot

Meta Knight: How Do We Get It Back In The Yard

Penguin: get more burger’s in the grocery store. stat. this is a tactical espionage mission

Meta Knight: What

Penguin: buy burgers from the store. and buns and stuff. and guac and potato chips.

Meta Knight: No Sauce?

Penguin: actually i take that burger sauce from the mcdonalds

Meta Knight: Is That Legal

Penguin: ive never been arrested for it

Meta Knight: Ok. Good Bye Dedede

Penguin: seeya

Meta Knight slips the phone back into his pocket and stops leaning on the post himself. He remarks to himself what an awful texter Dedede is- doesn’t capitalize his words like he should, despite telling Meta Knight it was proper, and he uses confusing little pictures in his messages as well. Then he goes into the store. It’s a neatly organized place, which satisfies Meta Knight greatly, and it’s air conditioned- also a bonus. Without thinking too hard about the brand preferences that cats have, he slips a few packs of ground beef (because Dedede makes them from scratch) and the other necessary ingredients into his cart. Then he adds a few chocolate cakes, telling himself that he’ll share them with Kirby and Dedede later after dinner. He’ll always have room for chocolate, even if he’s full.

Approaching the counter, standing in line, he thinks about how different this all is from his normal life. As much as he likes being a knight, he’s not really one on Earth, he tells himself. Here… Well, he’s just Meta. Embarrassingly, that’s a relaxing thought to him. Sometimes all you want is the heroic obligation of finding someone’s lost cat. When he reaches the front, he pulls out the payment card in a way that’s now instinct to him- it causes the least fuss- and swipes it over the little machine. It emits its single beep and Meta Knight is free to go.

Walking towards the car (which Dedede reluctantly let him drive), he thinks more about the “hot stuff” incident. _Though it’s only really an incident in my mind, isn’t it_? He can feel himself physically flinching when he imagines saying it to Dedede out loud, even without trying to understand why he’d want to do it. For all their past opposition and competition, he can’t help but admit that Dedede has a special kind of charisma regardless of his sometimes-ill temperament. He is an interesting character, and not unpleasant to spend time with. Being with him on another planet didn’t seem like a punishment in the way it did before, nor did it feel like something Meta Knight was enduring simply to keep Kirby safe from whatever was the problem- fire or dark matter or something. Meta feels his mind get too clouded to even remember, tangled in a web of thoughts.

_Do I like Dedede now? How should I act about that? Can he tell?_

He fumbles with the keys to the car when he tries to unlock it, blushing when he realizes that these are Dedede’s and that in a little way, this is them holding hands. So Meta Knight takes a deep breath, focusing on the ground beneath his feet.

 _You just have to get through this feeling_ , he tells himself.


	16. still air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meta knight made a fucko boingo,
> 
> also when i wrote/published this kirburbia had 69 kudos! which is a fun thing to memorialize. hope you enjoy reading this, and of course big thanks to everyone who has left kudos/comments/caught up with me on tumblr (scribemallow.tumblr.com). it means a lot to me! and of course so does my gf, who i thank every chapter for getting me into kirby and being her wonderful self <3 
> 
> also, if you think you know who the ladies in the car are, leave me a comment and i'll let you know if you're right!  
> enjoy!

Meta Knight doesn’t come home quick that day. Using the GPS Dedede insisted on hooking up to the car, he takes as many back roads and longer routes as he can. Not to get lost, but to clear his head, buzzing with warm and heady thought. Only a short while away from the house, finding his procrastination hasn’t solved anything yet, he pulls over at a gas station that borders a great yellow field, one that goes on for a great many miles. He parks away from the pumps, trying to avoid being noticed, and sits with the window cranked open. In the warm car, surrounded by the still air of the outside, Meta Knight closes his eyes and tries to think about something different. Not how Dedede and Kirby are doing- though he cares, he’s sure he needs to stop thinking about it in order to preserve his sanity.

He thinks about Popstar, and Dreamland. The home beyond human imagination. The ripe and pleasant woodland, remaining untouched, and the sky of a million stars above it. Aside from humans and their confusing ways, the light pollution at night is one of the biggest drawbacks of Earth for Meta Knight. He knows the stars are still there, but he longs for them in their absence. He looks over through the other window at two women filling their car- a quirky, ice-blue thing, older than most others. A blonde in a short pink dress and a reddish-brunette in an orange tennis outfit, stylish and sweet in the way humans like to be. If he was different from how he was- a state of being that Meta Knight had accepted long ago- he might say hello. Try to flirt. But Meta Knight thinks to himself,

_I’m happy alone._

_Who am I to interrupt their happiness?_

The two women hop back in the car almost as quickly as they emerged. Through the window, Meta sees another woman in the car, her hair a longer and cooler blonde. Nearly white. To her side is a cat, which seems rather remarkable to Meta Knight. It’s a bright blonde, unlike any other cat he’s seen before. And he knows that cats are fickle beasts- they aren’t fond of moving vehicles. His eyelids nearly shut now, the smooth motion of the car pulling out of the station lulls Meta Knight. His back against the seat and eyes towards the endless fields, window open narrowly, a warm flush travels down Meta Knight’s spine as he falls into sleep.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Where the hell is he?_

It’s the question Dedede keeps asking himself as he paces around the house. Six-thirty PM and he hasn’t heard a word from Meta, who was supposed to be back four hours ago. No word on the phone, either text or call, just endless voicemail messages left. Some containing rude words Dedede became ashamed of saying after he left them. Even more containing tears, which he only quieted after Kirby- who had been quieted with a pack of crayons and a full punnet of tomatoes- tried to comfort Dedede. He wasn’t yet worried about the show of vulnerability around Meta Knight, despite how much Dedede cared about his appearance in front of others. He was worried about Meta Knight, more than anything. It felt hypocritical- Meta Knight was a good measure tougher than Dedede- but he knew that Meta Knight wasn’t a reliable driver.

_Maybe his phone has just gone flat, and he’s lost._

_Maybe he’s been helping at some sort of accident scene. That feels very knightly._

_Just maybe, he’s picking Kirby up a surprise present that he forgot to get at the store._

_Could he have misinterpreted my instructions? Is he trying to trap that cat out there on his own without me, and his phone is on silent to avoid alarming it?_

_Can he even count? Does he know what 2:30pm is?_

Stuck in his thoughts, Dedede goes back to where Kirby is, absorbed in his crayons and his snacks, the TV buzzing in the background with some brightly-coloured children’s TV show about whatever the hell. Sitting down on a chair to watch, he pats Kirby’s head softly, waiting for his phone.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing that alarms Meta Knight when he wakes up is the evening sun outside his window. Then that he’s in a car, then that he fell asleep in the first place. After that is the realization that the reason he’s woken up is because he heard his name- and yet there’s nobody around. Not until he blinks and tries to get everything into focus does he realize what he heard.

_I left the radio on low while I was asleep, I think.  
But why would they say my name?_

Beyond the crackle of the frequency, he can hear the voice with the heavy accent once more.

Now, we’ve received reports of a missing person just recently, believed to be possibly lost… Early 30s, male, warm-skinned and blue haired. Wearing a denim shirt and cargo shorts. Goes by the name of “Meta Knight”- I hope I’m pronouncing that right. Will be in a black…

His brain shorts out before he can even hear the car name.

_I’ve fucked up now, haven’t I?_

Scrabbling for his phone, previously secured in the little pop-out section of the car next to him, Meta Knight moves to dial Dedede immediately. He feels the guilt rise at the many missed calls and texts as he hits the number in his contacts (Dedede of course his only contact).

“Hey, Dedede!”

“Meta! There you are! What in the world is happenin’?”

“Uh… I took the long way around.”

“Cant’ve been that long!”

“…Then I pulled over at a station. And I fell asleep in the car.”

“Why in the world did you do that, huh?”

Meta Knight pinches the bridge of his nose. Usually he’d get mad if Dedede talked to him like that, but the twitch in his heart tells him that the fault falls squarely on him this time.

“I had a lot on my mind. I stopped to clear it, and I guess I fell asleep.”

“…Well, I’m glad you’re okay. But if you’re havin trouble, you can speak to me whenever you want, understand? Now pick up the pace home. Kirby misses you.”

“Did you really call the radio station for me?” There’s a sudden pause in the conversation.

“Yeah. I was worried about you, alright. Don’t get too cocky about it.”

“I won’t. And I’ll bring your car back in one piece.”

Maybe it’s counterintuitive to what he intended, but when Meta Knight hears Dedede say he was worried, a jolt of warmth shoots through his body. He smiles wide at the phone, himself and his affections safe behind the screen, and plugs his keys in to the vehicle. Ready to come home to the people who do miss him.


	17. like moths to a flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hah, meta knight's in some deep feelings shit. thank you to everyone reading, leaving kudos/comments etc., and again to my wonderful gf connie! i'm going to be travelling next week, so updates will be potentially non-existent, but thank you in advance for your patience!

the coast is clear now. we’re on the highway  
where the light is orange and warm  
like a fire before the night.   


\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ride home from the gas station feels like a dream for Meta Knight. He’s still hazy internally, all of his energy on focusing on the road and trying to block out anything else. Repeating over and over again in his mind-

 _If I can get home to Dedede and Kirby, we’re fine. Everything else can be worked out later_.

After a while, the house comes into view. Some dusty roads take him to where Dedede’s garage is, the path becoming clearer as he approaches, and Meta Knight sighs in relief when the car slots neatly inside the garage. Tentatively he opens the car door and steps outside, bringing the keys with him and preparing to knock on Dedede’s door. Feeling the keys in his hand, he knows there’s a door key he can use attached, but for some reason it doesn’t feel right.

_I must have made Dedede very worried. I can’t barge into his house like this. I have to wait, and then I have to apologize, as a knight would do._

He taps the door twice, trying to cause minimal disturbance, and almost immediately he can hear Dedede moving around the place, nearly knocking into the various items of furniture around the house, as he often does. Avoiding Dedede’s eventual gaze on instinct, Meta Knight looks up to where a light hangs at the doorway, now surrounded by a haze of summer night insects. The more he looks, the more he can hear the buzzing. The less he can hear the clattering inside as Dedede issues muffled curses about his frustration in his inability to find the key. The less he thinks to himself-

 _It’s my fault Dedede is upset. I made a horrible mistake, and now he’ll never forgive me_.

While Meta Knight stands transfixed, the door to Dedede’s house opens with a smooth click. The door swings to the side as Dedede exits energetically, turning to see Meta Knight looking at the light and not the door. Meta Knight twitches when he hears it, broken out of his trance, and his shoulders clench as he tries to work up the courage to face Dedede. He knows it’s him and not Kirby- his footsteps are familiar now, as is his scent (seawater, even as far removed from the ocean as possible). Hell, he can almost feel Dedede near him. But at the moment, there’s not enough willpower in the world for Meta Knight to look over.

“Hey. Meta.” There, again, is the pregnant pause that’s hung over them so many times in the past. “Did I not open the door loud enough or somethin’?” Meta Knight doesn’t turn his head, but he brings his palm to his lower arm and starts rubbing it in a comforting fashion. He takes a few deep breaths and tries to wrench his gaze away from the light.

“Sorry, I was distracted.” he says, finally able to look Dedede in the eyes.

“By what? That light?”

“…Yes.”

“What are you, a bug?” Dedede jokes. Meta Knight’s shoulders clench further in expectation for some further insults, of course based around the idea of him in fact being a bug, but they unclench in a way that sends a shock down Meta’s spine when Dedede draws him into a big bear hug. The air in his lungs squeezed out almost immediately, Meta gasps and looks up at Dedede’s face, only to find it full of warmth and laughter at his.

“Umph! Dedede-“

“You had me worried there! If you were that tired, you should have just told me, and I would have gone. It’s no problem, you know!”

“…I don’t know why I fell asleep, honestly. Maybe I just needed some quiet.” Meta Knight says. Then he can feel Dedede’s arms getting looser around him, eventually releasing him from their grip.

“Aw, you sure buddy? You need quiet, I can give you quiet. Quiet as a mouse, that’s me, Dedede.” Meta Knight shakes his head.

“Not that kind of quiet. I had the radio on still when I was in there. More like… mental quiet. Again, I had some stuff on my mind while I was driving. I pulled over to think it through.” Dedede smiles sympathetically.

“I getcha. You need to talk about it with your pal Dedede? I can give you more hugs, free of charge. Or burgers.” At this, Meta Knight feels the heat rush to his cheeks.

“This is something I’d prefer to deal with alone, but thank you for your offer.”

“You having trouble with a girl? Trust me, we won’t be rivals for love or anything, I have no interests at the moment.” _Well, I’m having relationship trouble, but…_ Meta Knight thinks. He shakes his head in rebuttal.

“Right, right. Are you worried about Kirby or anything like that?” He shakes his head again. Truth be told, he’s always a little worried about Kirby, but that’s background noise by now. Not relevant to Dedede.

“Well, I guess it’s none of my business then.” Dedede replies. Meta Knight can’t help noticing that his voice sounds dejected, fragile at the rejection of his assistance. _Does he really care this much?_

“It’s only a minor thing.” Meta Knight tries to reassure Dedede. “It’ll fix itself in a while. Just wondering about the future, I suppose.” The sympathetic smile returns to Dedede’s face.

“Aw, who even knows about the future.” His hand is now on Meta Knight’s back, making him flush further. “I ain’t no fortune teller, but I think that if we stick together we’ll end up doing just fine for ourselves.” Unable to think of anything good to respond with, Meta Knight nods, and Dedede’s smile widens. “C’mon, you want dinner? I was thinking of doing steak and garlic potatoes, but if you’re shaken up we can just order Chinese food and watch some of that new talent show on the TV.”

Unsure of how much being around Dedede helps his problem, but warm and comfortable in his embrace and in his home, Meta Knight nods at nothing, eyes now fixed on Dedede’s face.


	18. burger boy squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meta knight has fucking died. 1 kudos = one prayer. 
> 
> (seriously though, thanks for reading this far, and a huge shoutout to you and my wonderful gf!)

Meta Knight knows the back door is open when he wakes up. Sure, he’s not in the kitchen, more laying groggily on the broad plush sofa that Dedede keeps in the living room (and surrounded by boxes of takeout food at that), but the way the fresh morning air tickles the new and sensitive hairs on the back of his neck lets him know. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, Meta Knight gets to his feet slowly but surely, one foot after another. Gripping the sofa while his muscles tense and stretch instinctively, he wonders to himself why the scent of grass and open air could reach his nostrils.

 _Did Dedede forget to shut it last night? I hope nobody got in_. He sniffs to scent the air again, and picks up on something he couldn’t before.

 _Burgers_. _Why in the world would Dedede be grilling at this time of day_? Affirming his thoughts, Meta Knight picks up his phone to see the letters 9:53 on the screen. _I don’t think I can eat any more of Dedede’s burgers, especially not for breakfast_. Resigned to whatever nonsense would happen next, Meta Knight finally stands up and makes his way into the kitchen that Dedede uses mostly in getting to his grill outside, yawning all the way there. The scent of meat and fire becomes stronger in the air, even more noticeable, as he approaches the portion of the kitchen which leads to the garden. And, though insecure about the potential consequences of his actions, Meta Knight takes a single step outside. Immediately he can see Dedede- he’s wearing his typical human casual clothing, the sort that’s suitable for warmer months outdoors, and doesn’t seem to have noticed Meta Knight approaching whatsoever. And true to Meta Knight’s expectations, he’s grilling. Though Kirby is in nowhere in sight, which concerns Meta Knight. _He wouldn’t usually miss out on something like this_. Trying his best to overcome his initial anxiety, Meta Knight takes a few more tender steps forward, eventually allowing him to make eye contact with Dedede.

“Hello? Are you okay?” Meta Knight asks. Dedede looks up and smiles.

“Hey!” Dedede replies, yawning in the middle of his pronounciation. “I’m doing great, of course. What about you? Everything fine with my little buddy?”. Unable to reply for a second, flinching at the flipping of the conversation, Meta pauses and thinks.

“Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to see why you were using the grill at this time of day.” There’s a reasonable gap between the two, so they’re still shouting. Meta Knight gets the instinct to move closer, but not the desire. And it takes a similar second for Dedede to respond, clearly surprised by the question.

“How did you know I was making burgers?” Dedede jokes. Meta Knight sighs under his breath, knowing that Dedede was avoiding the question somehow. Seriously or not, he didn’t know.

“Because I can smell them, Dedede.”

“From all the way over on the living room sofa where you passed out?” Dedede replies again, his metal tool scraping the bars of the grill again.

“Is this a dig against me?” The air between them pauses.

“…No.” Dedede eventually says. “I mean, I might be joking about it, but it does kind of suck that you couldn’t get to bed. You looked really peaceful and, well, disturbing you felt like a bad idea.”

“Oh. Thank you, Dedede.”

“Don’t mention it.” If he’s not mistaken- and from this distance, he thinks he might be- Meta Knight can almost see Dedede smile. “Oh, and for the record, I’m grilling at what you call “this time of day” because of how this whole fiasco started.”

Meta Knight freezes.

_Because I might want something more from our relationship, and I don’t know how to deal with that? Because I want to be close to you? Because I want to call you something stupid like “hot stuff” and spend my time with you at some café you like?_

“Uh…” Meta Knight mumbles.

“Aw, c’mon, you know this one! That lost cat poster you were telling me about. I’m trying to catch the little bastard before he wriggles out of our grip.”

 _Oh. Phew_.

“Yeah! Yeah. Sorry. I, uh… I forgot.” Meta Knight mutters. Dedede shrugs.

“S’okay. It’s been a long freakin’ day for both of us.” It doesn’t feel like it’s been a day, Meta Knight thinks. More like a week. “My plan is that if he figures out we’re grilling, he’ll come into our yard, and we’ll gain his trust by feeding him, then lead him into some kind of trap.”

“What kind of trap?” Meta Knight asks.

“I dunno. Haven’t thought about that part yet.” Looking at the giant stack of bun-less burger patties piling up on a paper plate next to the grill, Meta Knight gets the feeling that Dedede hasn’t done an awful amount of thinking about any of this plan.

“What are we going to do with the excess burger patties?”

“My plan is that, basically, we throw them at Kirby like frisbees and he tries to eat them in mid-air.” Meta Knight blinks in confusion.

“What in the world is a frisbee?”

“Oh. Uh, it’s anything disc-shaped that you can throw at people, basically.” It takes all of Meta Knight’s internal strength to not roll his eyes even a little.

“He’s a human now. He doesn’t have his inhaling powers, remember?” Meta Knight points out. Dedede pauses again.

“… Who said anything about his powers?” he responds.

“Okay, I’m taking him to daycare again today. I don’t trust your throwing skills any further than you can throw them.”

“What?”

“I think you have the target aim and accuracy to be expected from a big clumsy penguin inhabiting a completely different body.” This time, Dedede rolls his eyes.

“You’re just being petty now. But fine, take Kirby to the daycare, I don’t want him being noisy and scaring the little furry idiot away once we have him around.” A thought flits into Meta Knight’s mind- _Kirby isn’t really the person most likely to do that_ \- then disappears, causing him to giggle.

“Alright, Dedede. Then we’ll catch that cat.”


	19. the perfect plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meta knight CONFIRMED morosexual.
> 
> (shoutout to everyone reading this far and my gf! love you babe, kisses)

_Take a deep breath. Now take another_.

Holding Kirby’s hand outside of the daycare they’ve been to before, Dedede struggles to process the way he feels. The sudden rush of adrenaline, anxiety and fear caused just by the thought of having to interact with someone while he has a child next to him sends a wave of confusion through his mind.

 _Am I going to have to explain my relationship? They’ve seen Kirby with Meta Knight, so will they judge me? Judge him? We don’t look related at all, and if Meta Knight needs a friend to bring the kid he’s lookin’ after to daycare then it’ll make him look like a shitty.. dad? Uncle? Whatever he told them. Shit_.

 _Why does this feel so wrong? Is it so scary_?

Thoughts running fast and wild, Dedede only notices Kirby squeezing his trembling hand after a hot second. Snapping back to reality, he squeezes it back, and takes a final deep breath.

“Sorry, kid. Your old Dedede just has some nerves about going in and, y’know, dropping you off. You sure you’ll be okay in there without me or Meta around?” Dedede says, trying his hardest to not trip and falter over the words that are hardest to say. Still, he can feel Kirby nodding, and a sense of humoured satisfaction from being able to call Meta Knight Meta again without him there to complain.

“Debebe! Okay! Yes!” squeaks Kirby, voice high pitched and excited. When Dedede looks over, he can see Kirby’s eyes glowing with stars in a fashion that reminds him of how they were before this strange planet. The memory of Kirby’s strength, his perseverence and independence, hits him with a force.

 _Of course he’ll be okay. It’s not fair to push my own issues onto the kid! Gah, I should have just taken that step and I wouldn’t even be thinking about this right now_.

“Just makin’ sure, bub. I know we haven’t always gotten along in the past, but I think you can do anything. Be a good kid, and make Meta proud, okay?” Dedede exclaims, holding out his little finger as punctuation. “Pinky promise.” Kirby holds out his own as well, linking it with Dedede’s. Shaking their hands together for a second, Dedede presses his other hand onto the opening of the door. Closing his eyes, he pushes it forward, hoping to avoid any immediate eye contact with the staff or other kids if he can.

“Hey, are you here to drop off.. Kirby, right?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of tires on tarmac alerts Meta Knight to Dedede’s return, a while after he left. The anxiety he had over Dedede offering to drop Kirby off, which seemed remarkably out of character for Dedede, subsides as he hears the familiar jingle of Dedede’s keyring-laden keys hitting the door and sliding into the lock smoothly.

 _For all his problems, he’s at least got unlocking a door well down. It always takes me two tries_.

Sliding out of the yard chair he was drinking lemonade on, Meta Knight walks slowly to the door so as to greet Dedede. A little disappointed by the lack of bag-sound (which always meant that Dedede had bought back some kind of dessert for them to enjoy), Meta Knight stood in the hallway regardless and waited for Dedede to turn his head towards him.

“Hey, Dedede. You manage to get the kid locked up in baby jail safely?” jokes Meta Knight. Dedede huffs and turns in his direction.

“For the record, Daycare ain’t “baby jail”. The babies are well taken care of. It’s more of a farm pen for babies. Who are not babies. Kirby’s a kid, you know.”

Meta Knight shrugs. “Eh, the distinction doesn’t mean much.”

“The distinction means everything,” mutters Dedede “because if Kirby was a baby he wouldn’t do what he does. But he’s a kid, and kids can do anything if they put their minds to it. Including beat me up. Several times. Because at least I admit it.” His voice getting louder as he reaches the end of the sentence, Meta Knight almost laughs under his breath.

“Well, I’m glad we’ve cleared up the semantics.”

“Ain’t semantics that stuff they put on the roads?”

Meta Knight rolls his eyes. “No. Let’s just forget I said anything.”

“Already have, buddy.”

The heat rises to Meta Knight’s cheeks again.

 _Fuck. I’m in love with an idiot, and I get flustered when he’s completely platonic towards me. Good job, Meta Knight_.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dedede promised Meta Knight that he’d have the trap set up after he came back, and looking at the strange contraption that he’s constructed in the fairly sizeable backyard, Meta Knight can’t fault him for telling the truth. _Even though it looks like some kind of elaborate comic joke_.

“…Remind me again how this thing is supposed to work?”

“Well, it’s simple.” Dedede grunts as he hoists himself up from the ground, where he was making final adjustments to a rickety mouse trap that constituted the grand finale of the scheme. “The grill scent draws the cat towards the backyard, and when he comes in he’s going to be frightened by this little statue here.” He points to a small stone statuette of two kittens, possessing the approximate realism of a surrealist painting, and gives Meta Knight a thumbs up. “Then it’ll back into this pool of water and fall in.”

 _It’s a kiddy pool_.

“Why do you even have a kiddy pool?”

“Neighbours had a garage sale. I felt bad for not buying anything.”

“Okay. Continue?”

Dedede squats on the ground again and points to the pool. “So, cats hate water. He’ll flip out so bad, and because he’s a cat he’ll instinctively run away, but also he’ll run in the direction of the treats I’ve laid out on the stone pathway. And at the end of the pathway…” Dedede looks at Meta Knight encouragingly.

“Is the mouse trap?”

Dedede snaps his fingers. “You got it, bud! We’ll have him in no time.”

“So… Not that I’m doubting you, or anything like that, but what if the trap doesn’t work?”

“Are you kiddin’ me? This thing is perfect. Nothing can go wrong at all.”

Subtly, Meta Knight gets the feeling that Dedede needs to feel confident right now, so he shuts his mouth and nods in agreement.


	20. you're a real hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (insert crying cat image here) 
> 
> (big love to all readers, especially those leaving kudos and comments, and also my gf who i will never stop thanking!! hope you feel better soon angel <3)

One hour into their viewing of Hot Fuzz, Meta Knight remembers the trap. Not just how stupid the trap is, but also that it exists at all. He’s not sure how they ended up on the sofa with Netflix on when they were in fact, out there in the garden for at least some time, but he knows it happened sometime after Dedede started whining about the heat and Meta himself suggested that they sat inside and had lemonade for a bit. One thing led to another, and now the room was dark and they were seated in front of a TV screen, eyes glued on the parodic action. Thinking for a moment- mostly about whether reminding Dedede of that contraption was in any way a good idea- Meta Knight coughed to preface his talking.

“Hey,” he said, having to enunciate to speak over the TV audio, “weren’t we in the backyard before this? Trying to catch that cat?” The sentence seems to go over Dedede’s head for a few seconds before he fully processes it. But when he realizes, his eyes open wide and he immediately hits the pause button on the remote, freezing the footage.

“Aw man, you’re right! Shoot, dude, we gotta get back out there.” Dedede exclaims, moving himself off the couch and over to the light switch. The new curtain of light strains Meta Knight’s eyes, and he blinks wildly for a moment. “If we leave him there for too long, he might outsmart our defenses and escape with his life.”

 _Or he’ll just leave, because the trap doesn’t work_.

“Mhm. You can bring the lemonade outside if you want.” Meta Knight says, a little disappointed that Dedede hadn’t insisted on finishing the film before they went out. Walking back out to where the door to the outside was located, he opened the door with its smooth handle, only to notice something moving in the yard. Carefully, in order to not disturb it, he crouches down and makes the softest movements he can to get a better look.

 _It’s ginger, and animal sized. Which means it could potentially be the cat_.

Even with his haunches trembling, Meta Knight moved forward silently, unnoticed as far as he could tell by the new presence in the garden. Thanking the Earth that it was a still and windless day, he prepared himself to pounce when he got close enough, hopefully ensnaring whatever he had found.

“Hey, Meta! Do you want some snacks out here as well?” The voice rang out over the yard, alerting not only Meta Knight but the animal. It raised its head, revealing its feline features, and darted off to the corner amongst the tall flowers Dedede planted during the summer. Even though it was usually nice to hear Dedede’s voice, especially considering his… unfortunate emotional predicament, Meta Knight swore that in that moment he had experienced some serious twitching behind the eye. He took a breath to speak, quietly as to not frighten the cat further.

“Dedede,” he groaned “you’ve just scared the cat into a corner.”

“Oh. Well, I thought he’d be in the trap.” Dedede muttered. Trying to relieve some of the pressure from his legs, Meta Knight lowered himself onto the long green grass. “So he couldn’t run away.”

“Well, I did find him drinking water out of the kiddy pool, so it wasn’t entirely useless. At least he’s here now- we just have to find a way to catch him.” Dedede lifts his hand to his chin and scratches at his facial hair for a moment.

“Well, we have some of those burgers still.”

“Alright. Can you- can you “frisbee” one of them over here? We might frighten him, but he might be hungry after drinking all that water as well.”

Lifting a few of the patties from the plate, Dedede nods. “I’ll try not to hit you, but I can’t promise you anything.”

 _Very romantic_. “Thanks, Dedede. Try and aim away from the kiddy pool, because the cat won’t want to eat wet burgers.” Nodding again, Dedede takes up a strange position with the patty in hand, then does his best to toss it onto the ground. Though the movement and the sound startles the cat initially, it calms after a moment and moves towards the scent of meat, with the patty having landed only a foot or so away from the broad pool of water Dedede had set out. Reluctant for a moment, it then starts to eat, nibbling pieces off of the body ravenously.

“Huh. So that actually worked.” Meta Knight said, causing Dedede to smile.

“Told you my plan was absolutely perfect. Now, we just need to pick the big idiot up and bring him inside… You don’t keep a net of some kind with you, do you?” Dedede inquires.

“No. You’re thinking of my sword. The sword will do the opposite of help right now.”

“For the record, it’s not my idea to use the sword on the cat. Can you just go and… I dunno, pick the thing up? It’s kind of distracted.” Shrugging visibly at Dedede’s words, Meta Knight stood up from the earth- brushing dirt from his cargo shorts as he did- and took a quiet step forward to test the waters. The cat, unresponsive.

“I’ll do my best”, Meta Knight said, creeping on his haunches towards the feline as he did before. Now almost standing over it, Meta Knight was able to lower himself and take it into his hands, albeit with some resistance and the rest of the burger patty falling down and onto Meta Knight’s shoes. It wriggled in his grip, letting out meows as Meta Knight attempted to baby-cradle it so it could not escape.

“Brilliant! You really are a hero, Meta. That cat bastard didn’t even know what hit him right then. We should probably get inside before he gets another chance to escape, though.” Determined to take no risks, Meta Knight made a move for the door, where Dedede patted him on the back and gave him a thumbs up imbued with confidence. Unable to hide his blush this time, or walk away, Meta Knight lifted the cat up over his face and diverted his eyes, drawing a strange look from Dedede.


	21. story time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kirby adorableness ft bad and naughty cats get put in the metadede wiggler to atone for their sins
> 
> love you everyone, especially my gf <3 check out scribemallow.tumblr.com for moreeee

It doesn’t take long for Kirby to attract a lot of attention in daycare. A combination of his vivid storytelling, natural charisma and endless kindness draws half of the other students towards him, almost inseperable by the second break of the day. And, as the caretakers notice, he seems to pick up language much faster than the other students. Sure, his vocabulary was fairly limited when he came in, but he’s able to pick up what other people say and repeat it in an instant, even when the words seem much too complex for someone his age. So it doesn’t take very long for the staff to peg him as unusual, either. Having finally calmed down the naptime riot that Kirby had instigated- he was happy to sleep, but the others couldn’t get enough of him- the youngest of them, a tall and lanky woman in a navy dress, gestured for Kirby to follow her away from the main recreation room. Gesturing for him to hush, in order to prevent the others from waking up, she spoke softly.

“Sorry to take you out of naptime, Kirby.”

Kirby blinked twice and thought about his response. “’S okay.” His understanding bought a smile to her face, knowing that the potential stress of him fussing had been relieved.

“Did you tell everyone else to cause trouble? They seem to like you a lot.” she murmured, enunciating the last part of the sentence. Kirby shook his head firmly, lifting himself up by his heels to try and reach her face better.

“No… I was just telling them a story! They wanted, uh.. They wanted to hear the end.” Despite tripping over his words a few times, Kirby spoke with a reserved confidence and dignity that impressed adults immediately.

“What was the story about?”

“Oh! It’s about… Um, the king who took all the food. I had to go and fight him so I could get it back. Then we became friends, and it was okay, but I missed that part.”

“It’s a nice story. What made you think of it?” she asked. Kirby paused again, this time for a few more seconds, imitating the hand-on-chin motion he had seen adults do while they were thinking.

“Well, miss, it really is true!” The insistence in his voice nearly made her laugh. “Um, we made good friends. And then we went on an adv-adver-adventure!”

“Awww, I like that ending. Do you have any other stories?” Kirby nodded enthusiastically, counting on his fingers.

“Um, well, one time I had to fight a big robot with my friend Meba Night. He had a big ship and I had a big robot suit! We saw a lot of scary things.”

“Meta Knight is the one who’s taking care of you, right?” Again, Kirby nods.

“He’s really cool. He helps me a lot.” _Assuming that the bit with the robots and the ship was untrue, even still… It seems that they’re a good unit when they’re together_.

“Well, I think Meta Knight would really like it if you went for a nap.” Kirby shook his head with insistence.

“He says I nap too much.”

“…He’d be happy if he knew that you listened to adults.”

“Okay, Miss Hardy! I’ll see you when I wake up, okay?” He gave a final wave before hopping back over to the main room, which the older woman returned even though Kirby had already turned around.

_That kid’s gonna be a great storyteller one day, I can feel it. How does he even come up with all of these strange stories?_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes a great while of grunting and struggling, but Dedede and Meta Knight eventually manage to stuff the large ginger feline they’d captured into an animal crate. Still faced with its defiant meowing, but free from the frustration of trying to stop it escaping, Dedede patted Meta Knight’s shoulder with vigour as he panted.

“Tell you what, I’m not fuckin’ doing that shit again. Any more lost cats can find their own damn way home.” Meta Knight smiles, watching the captured cat paw fruitlessly at the entrance of its personal prison cell. “Thankfully I have the buff- ah, buff muscles to control the beast successfully. And you helped as well.” Surprising Meta Knight, he hadn’t mentioned the trap he’d set at all.

“I sure did.” Kneeling down, Meta Knight was able to get a better look into the pet carrier where they’d imprisoned the soft animal. He was now lying on his side, licking his paw in a defeated fashion. “We should get him back home as soon as we can. Hopefully he won’t bust out again, huh?

“Agreed. It doesn’t look like he’s been suffering or anything, though. Bastard still has a gut and everything.”

“Probably because you’ve been feeding him so many burgers.” Meta Knight sighed, lifting himself up again.

“Guilty as charged. You still got that picture with the address on it?” Dedede asked. Meta Knight nodded, reaching for the phone in his pocket and first noticing the time.

“We can maybe get the cat back before we have to pick Kirby up. If we leave pretty soon, that is. Since we’re not very far from the address at all.”

“Sounds like a good idea. And before you ask, I’m driving, because at least I can be trusted with a car. You thought Burger King was an enemy of America.”

“Well, the burgers there are bad.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk! Y’ always get the one with the bacon on it, then take it off and complain it tastes of bacon. Just ask for it without the bacon!”

“I want to get my money’s worth if I’m going to spend money at some sub-par burgery.” Dedede rolled his eyes at the statement.

“I’m sorry the burgers aren’t as good as mine everywhere. Perfection is a difficult standard.” Again, Meta Knight finds it hard to argue that Dedede isn’t pretty good at putting one together. “Also, it’s literally just two pieces of bacon.”

“Kirby wants them.”

“Awwww. That’s actually really cute.”

When Meta Knight’s cheeks light up once more, he’s mortified by the lack of a convenient cat to hide it.


	22. gijinkas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (hiii so this isn't really a chapter, it's just a link to a post i made about the gijinka designs i've been using for kirburbia, in case anyone is curious! i was asked so here they are)

[here they are babes!!!](https://scribemallow.tumblr.com/post/183059351583/friendhearts-and-everyone-else-whos-interested)

or: https://scribemallow.tumblr.com/post/183059351583/friendhearts-and-everyone-else-whos-interested

 

 

 


	23. sweet tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...i really hope i didn't name the cat something different in a previous chapter.   
> otherwise, enjoy!  
> (to my gf: love you babe!)

There’s not much opportunity for Meta Knight and Dedede to hang around at the house where they bring the cat. Knocking on the door, it doesn’t take long for the owner of the house- and the, following logically, owner of the cat- to appear at the doorstep where Meta Knight lifts the animal crate for her to see inside. Her eyes light up with a grateful happiness as she hears the familiar meow, receiving the crate itself with equal appreciation and joy, exciting Meta and Dedede into a smile. Not waiting long to get the feline back into her house, she puts the crate down almost immediately after she’s given it, the door of it still locked.

“Thank you sirs, for bringing my Cheesecake back. He’s never gotten lost like this before, he’s a good boy.” Her accent is charming and strong, her home comfortable and wood-accented. “I don’t suppose you two would like to come in for a drink?” she asks. Meta Knight thinks- _it’s a tempting proposal, even if it’s just to look polite for someone in the neighbourhood. And Dedede can never resist being offered some kind of food or drink_. Then Dedede nods, and Meta Knight gets the feeling that he probably doesn’t have a great amount of choice in this. Moving graciously to allow the two men into her house, Meta Knight follows slightly less enthusiastically behind Dedede as he brushes past the beaded curtains and well-travelled trinkets and onto a dark oak table. Turning back to the lady, embarrassed about Dedede’s behaviour without even knowing the name of his host, Meta Knight sighs.

“He can be very impulsive. And we have something else coming up, so he wants to make the most of anything else he’s doing.” To Meta Knight’s relief, instead of criticizing him, she just smiles.

“I understand. I don’t see him often around here, so he must be a busy man.” _Well, she’s not wrong_ , Meta Knight thinks to himself. Walking forward into the home in the way Dedede did, Meta Knight is able to absorb the atmosphere of the home, much shadier than the world outside. It’s much more lived in than Dedede’s home- that he knows for sure- and it’s busier, aesthetically. And though Meta Knight knows that preferring simplicity and peace is just part of his personality, in his heart of hearts he can’t help wondering-

 _what if I could live somewhere like this? Somewhere that was less of a house and more of a home_.

In the living room, connected openly to the kitchen, Meta Knight can see Dedede sitting down on one of the small chairs with woven and brass accents. He smiles when he can hear Meta Knight entering, even though he’s not turned in his direction. There’s a moment when he’s paused, but he takes in a breath that makes Meta Knight anticipate something.

“Glad you’re here, buddy. Once we got Kirby, wanna go out and visit that café I was talking about? One in the park, ya know.” Now he’s facing Meta Knight, who nods and smiles in return.

“That sounds nice. When is it open til?”

“Uh, in the Summer…6pm. The big six o’clock.” Third to enter the room is the lady of the house, carting with her Cheesecake’s temporary pen. Meta Knight waves on instinct.

“Alright, do you just want some water? Otherwise I’ve got some Coke, some lemonade, a little sweet tea-“ Dedede cuts her off and Meta Knight groans.

“Sweet tea, please and thank you.” She looks over at Meta Knight now.

“…Uh…” Meta Knight murmurs, unsure of how to respond. “…Just water, please?”

“No problem.” The sound of liquid pouring into the glass reminds Meta Knight of how thirsty the afternoon had made him, and for the first time in a while he feels excited about the potential of drinking regular water. Dedede is watching with a similar interest.

“Are you a fan of sweet tea?” Meta Knight asks. Dedede giggles.

“More than I am of water.”

“I don’t intend to be a nuisance to our host by asking for more, even if it’s just a few minutes.”

“You can call me Lauren!” they hear from the kitchen.

“Well, I guess there’s always the café later.” Internally, Meta Knight wonders why Dedede likes that café so much. He also finds himself tapping his feet against the wooden floor and watching a fly buzz around the lamp affixed to a large tank that Meta assumes houses some kind of animal.

 _All of the weird stuff I feel makes talking to Dedede hard_.

The drinks come in and they’re laid on the table. Meta Knight has to resist taking a huge unsightly gulp from his glass, especially when he sees Dedede taking a polite sip and readying a compliment for the host.

“Now this- this is some wonderful sweet tea.”

“I owe you for finding Cheesecake. I work at home, so I’ve missed him dearly over the past few weeks… Really broke my heart. So.. you have all my thanks.”

Meta Knight smiles. “It’s no problem, honestly. We had an interesting time capturing him. Didn’t take it too well, really, but he’s fine.”

“That’s all that matters, isn’t it? You can get hurt and things can change so often, but in the end as long as you have ground to stand on it’ll be okay one day. You just hang in there, and you do what you have to do.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------

When they’ve finished their drinks- Meta Knight remaining insistent on minding the time- Dedede waves goodbye to Lauren with enthusiasm. Relieved to be free of the cat, as cute as he was, Meta Knight takes a minute to feel the wind and sun on his skin as Dedede loads himself into the car.

“Get in, ya freakin’ hippy.” Without any good recourse, Meta Knight takes the front passenger seat like usual. Trying to break the silence, Meta Knight says something he hopes internally he won’t regret later on. With a smile, not knowing whether he’s trying to throw Dedede off his trail or onto a different one, he nudges Dedede.

“She was cute, huh?”

“Eh.” Meta Knight’s heart sinks as he hears it. _If I’m going to feel like this_ , he thinks, _I’d like a definite point of hopelessness_. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, anybody would be lucky to have her. But I don’t get mixed up with human dames. Women are tricky already.” Even though he has no possible experience to corroborate this with, Meta Knight nods.

“I tried, Dedede. I tried.”

The car’s engine kicks into gear, and before Meta can utter another word, the noise of it coming to life drowns out anything else.


	24. pistachio gelato and a cappucino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the cafe's name is a play on super smash bros. i've always found the character/plot potential of those games interesting, even if they're very light on it.
> 
> also, if you like my writing, i have some other original work pieces listed on my account that i'd be grateful if you checked out!

It doesn’t take long for Meta Knight and Dedede to reach the daycare. Taking the relatively clear roads as an excuse to go more than an inch over the speed limit- “It’s okay, as long as cops don’t see you do it”- Dedede managed to ensure their arrival even earlier than expected. Something Meta Knight found a little irritating, as it meant their inevitable miniature quarrel surrounding who was supposed to actually get Kirby from the building would commence even earlier than usual. About to unbuckle from the passenger seat in the front and offer to do it himself, avoiding any nuisance, the same metallic clicking sound coming from Dedede’s car seat surprised him.

“You’re going in? I didn’t think you’d want to.” Meta Knight said, awkwardly stuck between standing and sitting, unwilling to commit to either.

“Well”, Dedede muttered nervously “I wasn’t sure it mattered, I suppose. Maybe I just wasn’t really thinking in the moment, and I forgot that it’ll be weird or whatever…” He twiddles with his thumbs, refusing to make eye contact with Meta Knight. “You should go, if you’re alright with that.” Dedede’s refusal to go ahead with his new confidence does disappoint Meta Knight, but he nods, already having accepted it as the likely outcome.

“See you in a few minutes, Dedede. Make sure to not overheat and die in the car.” All Dedede could do was sigh at that “joke”. He’d made a mistake by letting Meta Knight watch a TV commercial advocating for taking your dog out of the car on hot days- once he got over the initial alarm, he was all clever about it. Still, Dedede made sure to watch Meta Knight all the way to the daycare, as if something could happen to him in an area designed to keep even kids- squishy and fragile as they are- safe. When he was gone, Dedede switched on the car radio to distract himself, defaulting to his CD of EMOTION.

\---------------------

Despite the early arrival, accessing Kirby still meant waddling through a squadron of small children, something Meta Knight was not hugely fond of. Only able to reach the front desk eventually, nearly out of breath from dodging children insistently trying to put their shoes on themselves, Meta Knight gave the man behind the desk a frustrated look.

“Meta. Meta Knight. I’m here for Kirby, please.” He tried his best to smile as well, but found his facial muscles unwilling. The other man smiled and checked his computer records.

“You’re here early.” he commented.

“I’m just excited to see the little dude, I suppose.”

“Well, I know some parents who savour those extra few minutes in traffic. You must have a good kid.” Despite his reluctance to smile, Meta Knight nodded enthusiastically at this.

“He’s the best. Really been picking up on his language recently. Sometimes he grows so fast I don’t know how he won’t surpass me in time.”

“Kids are pretty amazing” said the other man, before calling out for Kirby. “Say, is that your boyfriend driving you here in the car?” Meta Knight’s face turned immediately flush, stomach feeling as if it was rotating around and in on itself. “You can both come in here if you’d like, it’s okay.”

“Ah… No, he’s just a friend.” The words were incredibly difficult to utter. Being confronted with something like this was the worst, Meta Knight decided. He was perfectly happy wallowing in his own feelings for as long as he pleased, thank you very much.

“Oh. Sorry to ask.” The reluctant tone that had entered his voice made Meta Knight’s heart sink even more.

“It’s okay. He’s a nice guy, though, really.”

Before the conversation could become more awkward, Kirby ran for the child-sized door installed into the desk, swinging it open and crashing into Meta Knight’s legs.

“Meba Knight! Meba Knight!”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s me. You ready to go?” Kirby nodded enthusiastically.

“We goin’ home?” Meta Knight couldn’t help but notice the way in which his voice imitated the accents surrounding him.

“After we’ve gone to the café, sure.”

“Sound good! Sound good!” Looking into Kirby’s eyes, Meta Knight could almost forget the awkwardness of the last 5 minutes. With a polite wave, he made for the door and exited into the parking lot. Kirby had now stopped clutching his leg, and was instead making a beeline for the car in his own energetic manner that felt impossible for Meta Knight to dissuade, even though he’d definitely like to encourage Kirby not running around near cars.

“Dedede’s with us, so make sure to say hi once you’re in the car, okay Kirby?” Meta Knight whispered. Kirby gave him a thumbs up, and after a moment of struggle managed to open the car door by himself, shuffling inside and onto the back seat.

“Hi, Debebe!”

“You sayin’ my name wrong just to annoy me, kid?” Kirby didn’t answer, but giggled at the accusation. All Dedede could do was turn around and ruffle his hair, laughing along. “Guess you’re a funny guy, huh?” Meta Knight smiled at the scene, despite the awkwardness involved with Dedede being pointed out earlier. To distract himself, he attached his seatbelt once more, instructing Kirby to do the same.

\--------------------------------------

The café was exactly as Meta Knight remembered it from prior. Surrounded by grass and leafy trees on all sides, but not enough to block the sunlight from reaching the small concrete plaza it stood on. Seats inside and outside, a vibrant group of customers. Maybe Meta Knight wasn’t the most social character, but he couldn’t deny his enjoyment of sweet food and drink very easily, or the enthusiasm that entered his eyes when he stepped through the doors of what Dedede informed him was called “Brother’s Café”. Stepping up to the counter together to order, Kirby extracted his pound of flesh- a juice box and one of the cartoonishly-dyed cupcakes with frosting- and ran out to play in the grass with other children who had accumulated at the venue. Dedede stopped to take a solid look at the gelato counter, examining the flavours, so Meta Knight took his chance to place an order.

“The salted caramel deluxe brownie, please. And a glass of Pepsi.” He wasn’t quite sure what the appeal of the drink was, but he enjoyed it. Dedede, upon hearing the order, rolled his eyes.

“You’re just going to be made of sugar at some point, you know. I’ll have two scoops of the pistachio gelato and a cappucino, please.”


	25. it's hard to go home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things don't go well for meta knight and dedede. kirby remains oblivious.
> 
> (this is pretty sombre as a chapter, but i promise that this won't be a dark/upsetting fic. experiences in this chapter include internalized homophobia, externalized homophobia and coming out. and thank you to my gf, who i didn't thank in the last chapter and who therefore deserves extra thanks, especially for reading this in advance <3 love you.)

Earlier than most other customers at the café, Dedede and Meta Knight were able to secure themselves the best seats in the joint. It was a corner seat, lined with diner-style pink leather couches and two wire-frame chairs cushioned by yellow frilly pillows. After a short squabble over who would take the couch up by the wall, Meta Knight gave in and sat facing Dedede, window view unavailable to him. There was a moment of silence as Dedede rearranged the cutlery to suit their food arrangements, all before he spoke for the first time in a while.

“So. You get the best view in the house- my face. Makes you wonder why you’d even want a window seat, now.” For all that Meta Knight was crushing on him, it didn’t stop him wanting to pinch Dedede’s back until he squeaked and cried uncle.

“Be careful, or I’ll stand up this whole meal so you can’t even see the window.” It was taller than Meta Knight sitting, so it was the only thing he could do to obscure Dedede’s view. Infuriatingly, Dedede smiled and patted Meta Knight on the shoulder. _Great, more physical contact. Time to look like I’m breaking out in hives again_.

“Duly noted, dude. At least you’re not the one who has to monitor Kirby from here.” As if to accentuate his point, Dedede made an exaggerated waving motion to someone beyond the window. Meta Knight turned and saw Kirby chasing around another small boy with dark hair, clearly enjoying himself.

“Shit.” _Wait, you can’t swear in public places_. “Did we order for Kirby?”

Dedede shrugged. “ _I don’t think so. Want me to go back to the counter? It might delay the food, but it’d be kind of a dick move to like, not_.” _Well, if he gets away with it, I can too_ , Meta Knight thinks. “You’re basically the kid’s dad, what do you think he’d want?”

“One of those… Bee El Tea sandwiches, extra ketchup. And strawberry ice cream, one scoop.” It had taken a while for Meta Knight to acclimatize to the fact “Bee El Tea” sandwiches contained bacon, lettuce and tomato, as opposed to bees and tea.

“I think they only have sorbet at the moment.” Dedede mumbles, gesturing towards the ice cream counter.

“Well, we’ll tell him it’s ice cream. And if he catches on we’ll buy him more.” It seemed like a foolproof plan to Dedede, who nodded before approaching the young man at the counter.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With their food arriving first and Kirby’s still under preparation- Dedede had mentioned the café was very intense in terms of its assembly- neither Dedede nor Meta Knight felt it was fair to call him in and make him wait simply because they had their own food. Dedede had assured Meta Knight that his order wasn’t sufficient to distract him away from the window behind Meta Knight’s back, demonstrating the fact by waving again to Kirby, who had been joined by various other children playing in the park already. Unsure on what else could be talked about, and several bites into the indulgent baked good he had ordered, Meta Knight took a sip of his drink and prepared to speak.

“Hey, Dedede.” Only now he noticed that Dedede had a little bit of gelato dripping from his mouth, which Dedede quickly licked away.

“…Hey, Meta. Sorry ‘bout that show right there. What’s up?”

“You know the daycare where we’ve been dropping Kirby off?” Meta Knight mumbled, sounding much more nervous than he wanted to appear.

“What about it?”

“Well,” he stated, “that guy at the counter when I went in there today. He- he made a joke about whether you and I were, uh, dating.” Though Meta Knight had convinced himself that he’d be able to pass it off as goofing between friends, alarms rung in his head as soon as he got the sentence out. Dedede was sitting there, suddenly still, spoon dug into his dessert and steam rising from his warm drink. After a too-long pause, filled with assumptions, Dedede coughed and spoke.

“Did he think you were a chick or something? I told ya those sunglasses are from the women’s section.”

“No, no. He didn’t- he didn’t think that.”

“Oh.” More silence between them, the kind of pregnant pause that Meta Knight wasn’t used to anymore. “So he thought we were two dudes, dating each other?”

“I… Yeah. I mean I don’t think there’s any other conclusion he could have came to.”

“So,” Dedede emphasized “that’s kind of weird. I mean, that’s just not how it goes, right? My parents keep fixing me up with dames for a reason- it’s just the way things work. You can’t do that.” If not for Dedede upsetting him, Meta Knight would have noticed the way his speech was rushed and flustered. Instead, he let his fork clatter to the side of his plate. "I mean, Meta, I really like you. If you were a girl, I coulda' asked to date you plenty of times. But, y-y'know... How it is."

“Why in the world do you think like that?” The emptiness of the café exemplified Meta Knight’s anger.

“I dunno, it’s just what my parents taught me. That it’s weird for a dude to like another dude. I mean, you agree, right?”

“No,” Meta Knight tried to shout with minimal volume, “and if you think that then maybe you should have your parents come round on your stupid Earth holidays, since I’m “weird”, and you obviously show get deference to their opinions.” Now the alarms were ringing in Meta Knight’s head. Sure, he felt as righteous as he’d ever been against someone, but the hurt of very potentially losing his best friend- someone even more than that maybe- was raw and salted.

“Oh.” Now Dedede was responding to Meta Knight’s admittance, a little choked by the upset he knew he’d caused but scared to back down. “Um, well, you can leave tomorrow. Or tonight. If you want to.” _Fuck_ , Dedede thought. _This really isn’t supposed to end like this_.

“I’ll think on it. I’ve lost my appetite now, honestly, so we don’t have to stay here.”

“Well, I don’t want to be here much longer either.” But just as Dedede reached to pick up his bag and head back for an inevitably frosty and distant car ride, the sound of an opening door and small footsteps reveberated across the room. Kirby walked forward, scanning the venue with his eyes until he located the table, running over to sit down on one of the wire chairs.

“I’m tired now. Wanna hang with you guys.”

It occurred to both Meta Knight and Dedede at the same time: _Shit. This won’t be as easy as I thought it would_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i usually don't add chapter notes, but i want anyone who's experienced something like this to know that they're not alone- either being rejected or struggling with an identity that others have tried to repress. kirburbia has been pretty innocent and goofy up to this point, pretty similar to kirby as a franchise on the whole, but kirby is also pretty heavy on the extradimensional god-horrors, so... for the record, i don't envision homophobia as being really much of a thing on planet popstar. dedede's family is just shitty and and has a bunch of hangups. it'll be okay for these two- it'll just take time.


	26. car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooooooooh boyyyyyyy
> 
> (big thanks to my gf, who is so patient and lovely with reading these <3)

Returned to dignity and polite silence by Kirby’s interruptance, the rest of the meal passes in relative peace between Dedede and Meta Knight, a peace that only stops for occasional snide and resentful glares across the table when Kirby isn’t looking at either of them for approval. Happy to consume his order without much input from Dedede or Meta, and surprisingly hungry even for him, Kirby provided them a good many opportunities for said snide glares, despite the residual guilt surrounding exposing a child to their conceited adult conflicts. It became the only thing that Dedede and Meta Knight could agree on in the moment- whatever had just happened, it shouldn’t be Kirby’s problem. So they would have to be civil, at least for now.

“What are we going to do when we get back home?” Kirby’s innocent voice highlighted his lack of perspective on the argument or the situation. Prompted to speak again for the first time since his entry, Dedede and Meta Knight looked between each other with barely-concealed spite, trying to determine the answerer with their eyes. Eventually, Dedede gave in, conceding that it was his house and that he, and nobody else, would dictate what went on inside.

“I dunno. I guess we just chill out and watch TV or whatever people want to do. Go for a walk for a while-“ Meta Knight poked his tongue out at the edge in Dedede’s words “-or sleep early and leave everyone else alone.”

“Oh.” Kirby murmured. Dedede flinched. _Did that go badly?_ “Well, that’s okay. Can I pick what goes on the TV? Please?” He’d recently been fixated on one of the bright human children’s shows which aired 24/7 on a cartoon network. It really didn’t catch Dedede’s fancy, while Meta Knight was actively hostile and avoidant towards it. But desperate to appease Kirby, Dedede and Meta Knight nodded together.

“Of course, Kirby. Just watch whatever you’d like and that’s fine, I’m sure me and- I, I can find something to do while you’re watching the TV. It’s a nice day, after all. Or it was until we came in here. Has the weather changed?”

 _What he says is true_ , Meta thinks, _but I know he’s making jabs at me. I wish I’d never said a word to him about that stupid situation earlier_.

\-------------------

Meta Knight and Dedede made haste towards the car as soon as Kirby finished. Without his reminder, nervous as it was, both of them were liable to forget the bill in the anger and confusion they directed towards each other. At the doors of the vehicle, it suddenly felt much smaller for the both of them, Meta Knight crawling into the back seat as soon as he saw an opening. Kirby’s curiousity provoked, he spoke up.

“Why is Meta Knight in my seat?” Both of the adults stood, dumbstruck by how complicated the situation made everything. Taking a deep breath, Meta Knight took his turn to speak.

“Because I wanted to let you sit in the front seat. You’re a good kid, so I know you’ll have a nice time up there. My treat.”

“Okay.” Slightly anxious, Kirby pulled hard enough on the doorhandle to open it, sitting down on the seat that- in comparison to the rest- felt much bigger than him. Meta Knight watched, impressed, as he put his seatbelt on perfectly and as a matter of instinct. Despite the unresolved tension in the air, he couldn’t help but be proud of Kirby, who learnt so quickly as he moved between worlds and situations.

 _But I don’t want him to deal with this. He doesn’t deserve it. One day… maybe he’ll understand_.

\---------------------------

The afternoon and evening passes with relative ease, mostly due to Meta Knight and Dedede avoiding each other like the plague. While Meta subsists on snacks and energy bars that he purchased previously, Dedede orders pizza for him and Kirby, reluctantly sitting through a clutch of cartoon episodes to try and reassure him that _everything is fine, nothing has gone wrong, we’re both here for you_. Four episodes in, it occurred to Dedede that maybe Kirby didn’t need babying like this, God-Killer that he was. Still, the idea of trying to explain everything that went down made him nauseous in some strange fashion, so he abandoned that line of thinking for the screen, where colourful characters not unlike those at home on Planet Popstar jittered and flaunted. It didn’t take much self-examination to know that his heart wasn’t in it- he didn’t know the plotline, or the characters, or even if there was either of the two. _Guilt can make you do some crazy shit_ , he thinks, _but it can’t really change your mind_.

“How’s the show, Kirbo?” The moment after he says it, the rhyme embarrasses Dedede.

“It’s okay. I think I seen this episode before, though, Debebe. I’m sleepy, too.” Indeed, Kirby’s voice was tired, and Dedede guessed that the day had tired him out. Then he felt a little bad, about how Kirby might not feel so tired if he hadn’t been in such a strange environment.

“You wanna go to bed, kid? I can lead you up the stairs, if that’ll make it easier for you.” Unable to stop Meta Knight from sleeping in his room, Dedede had thought at length about sleeping on the couch. But he’d go up there if Kirby wanted it.

“Yeah.” At the confirmation, Dedede reached to lift Kirby over his shoulders, balancing him there. “Alright, get steady.”

\---------

The upstairs landing had the lights off, but Dedede had spent enough time in the room to get Kirby there without looking too hard. Saying goodbye for the night, he shut the door on Kirby, and looked into the hallway.

To where Meta Knight’s room, and his, were across from each other. Even with a hall between them, Dedede felt he couldn’t face him, not after this.

 _But_ , he thought. I’m already up here. _May as well sleep in a bed_.

\------------------------

Meta Knight knows Dedede sleeps heavy. Knows he went to bed hours ago- the clock next to him reads, in red light, 2:03 AM. Which is why, after half an hour of rumination, he slips quietly out of bed and into the hallway, then downstairs. Trying as hard as he can to not creak the stairs, retrieving the car keys from a small shell-shaped dish Dedede kept on a cupboard near the entrance. Gripping the plastic part to minimize jingle, knowing the door key was attached to the same ring for ease.

He’s thankful that Dedede chose a modern house as he unlocks the door. It doesn’t make a sound, nor does the car when he calls it into action.


	27. drive all night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a beautiful night turns into an unfortunate dawn. 
> 
> (not to be a broken record but guess who loves her gf?? THIS GUY!!)

At first, Meta Knight isn’t sure where he’s going. He knows the vague outline of the area, having passed through it too many times to forget, but there’s nowhere that stands out for him. For a moment, he even regrets taking Dedede’s car. Regrets letting the argument go on for so long, wants to go back and apologize profusely. Feels his eye twitching like he’s about to cry. All alone in the night, driving on the main roads in all their past-midnight silence. So few lights, so few other people in the world anywhere near him, but enough light pollution to obscure most of the stars.

Then he tells himself to get over it.

_You’re going to give the car back eventually. Go back to Earth and leave Dedede alone. It’s what he wants, and Kirby is strong enough that he won’t have to pick between us._

_I was stupid to make amends._

_I was stupid for feeling like I did_.

Trapped in the night, another driver coming along only once in a while, he toys with the car horn. It’s not a pleasant sound, but knowing it’s verboten to press it makes it more tempting. And of course, he’s alone now. Kirby found it startling and Dedede insisted on not using it.

The thought comes back into his mind. There’s not much thinking room left- the radio pumps out music without a DJ, tiredness lingers at the bottom of Meta Knight’s throat and brain. But it’s what made him consider taking the vehicle in the first place-

 _Now I can do whatever I want_.

Only now, it was much less fun to think like that. Being free on the roads was less fun without anyone around, even if they would compromise his freedom. Even if other people could prove to be an inconvenience.

\-----------------------------------------

Dedede predicts in advance that Meta Knight won’t be around in the morning. He envisions the break of day when he drifts off that night- he’ll have taken some energy bars from the kitchen again, then packed thoroughly, waiting for when Dedede would reactivate his strange inter-dimensional machine. At the time, he’d been stuck between giving Meta Knight the instructions silently- therefore avoiding another awkward conversation- or forcing him into a Catch 22. To get home, he would have to talk to Dedede. Doing the latter, however, would force him to consider how much of it was a scheme to inconvenience Meta Knight and what element was simply a way for them to talk again. There was nothing to talk about between them which wouldn’t be painfully awkward, yet now it was unattainable, Dedede was undeniably tempted towards it. He had no ill will to Meta Knight, not now.

Not until he saw the car missing from his driveway, waking up drearily with an artificially-sweetened mug of coffee in his broad, human hands. At first it felt like an illusion, then a prank. Then a much worse prank. After checking his wallet, which had its money and spare key intact, and the way in which the TV remained standing in the living room, Dedede was forced to conclude that Meta Knight had made some kind of rash decision the other night. Given further evidence by the disappearance of his main set of keys (for both the door and the car, unfortunately) a flame rose in Dedede’s stomach.

 _He should have left silently_.

And he knows that Kirby is sensitive, but not that he’s sensitive enough to have already detected Meta Knight’s absence. Despite waking up after Dedede, and evidently having not checked Meta Knight’s room whatsoever, Kirby had been brought nearly to tears when he came down the stairs. Rubbing his eyes, worried, high-pitched whining about the situation which Dedede wasn’t even sure he had a decent grasp on yet.

“Debebe, where’s Meta Knight? He’s not in the house.” Kirby whined, voice inlaid with a special kind of childish misery that evoked powerful emotions. Dedede winced- he was missing a good answer.

“He’s… He’s out. He’ll be back at some point, I promise you.” Internally, Dedede attached some terms and conditions to the last bit of his sentence. That frankly, he didn’t know jack shit about the scenario as it stood, and that any promise he made as to Meta Knight’s whereabouts or likelihood of coming back to the house was functionally meaningless. It existed only as a reassurance for Kirby while Dedede sought to get the situation under control as best as he could.

“Where’s he out?” inquired Kirby, hands now on the bottom of Dedede’s star-print pyjama pants. _Where the fuck am I, in questioning?_ Dedede wondered, without daring to think of verbalizing it. He coughed, though, and spoke.

“I don’t know where he’s out at the moment. But it won’t be for too long or anything.” _Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit_. At least it seemed like Kirby couldn’t really tell.

“Okay, Debebe.”

The sigh from Dedede’s mouth as he heard the affirmation was strong. It told him that he’d be able to focus on more important things- tracking the car, tracking Meta Knight. Keeping Kirby happy. A duty that Meta Knight had been fulfilling, predominantly, for his presence at the home.

_Yeesh, I don’t know how to take care of a kid well or something like that. What would my parents do?_

Dedede looked down at Kirby, still pawing at his pyjamas and looking him in the eyes.

 _I hope he doesn’t become as jaded as I am. So I can’t afford to do a bad job here.  Otherwise- otherwise I might mess him up.  And, considering myself… It may not be the best to follow my parent’s example. That upbringing wasn’t exactly the walk in a park._ It doesn’t take long for Dedede to summon the memory of being herded inside from the park, still in his young age, then intricately prepared for some banquet dinner his parents insisted on organizing for the royalty. _Only for me to find out that I much prefer salmon and biscuits_.


	28. hideaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a limit to what you can get away from. 
> 
> (huge thanks to my gf!! and everyone who's been reading. sorry updates have been slow, real life hasn't been ideal, but we're back on track babey!!)

Bacon popping in the pan, Dedede runs through an imaginary list of his options. Calling the cops on Meta Knight is out of the question- it’s not like Meta has a license, so he’ll be arrested, and Dedede isn’t prepared to find out how he’ll react to the concept of human jail. Second path of action- calling Meta Knight himself. Dedede remarks to himself that those two should be the other way around, but only if Meta Knight had somehow overlooked the chance to destroy his phone. Or shut it off.

 _He’s overdramatic, so he’ll probably break it before it occurs to him he doesn’t have to_.

“Debebe!”

His attention moves suddenly from the phone to Kirby, sitting of course at the reasonably-sized dinner table Dedede covered with a red gingham cloth. Apologetic under his breath, Dedede rushes over to the pan and observes the grease sizzling, hit on his cheek with several drops. _What I do for this kid._ Unable to stop for anything now, he pulls out the spatula hanging over the burner and takes it to the pan, doing his best to scrape the pieces of meat from the black iron pan. Hit with several other drops of oil and grease, it takes Dedede a moment, but he’s eventually able to free the food and load it onto the eggshell blue plate set out for Kirby to eat from.

“You not having breakfast, Debebe?” Kirby enquires. Dedede shakes his head and sighs.

“I don’t have much of an appetite, kid. Just enjoy what I’ve made for you, alright?” After a moment, Kirby smiles and receives the plate. Loaded next to it, Dedede remembers the grilled tomatoes he halved and the toast he… toasted. A satisfying spread, hopefully enough to distract the young being from the situation at hand.

“I gotta go call someone, you understand? I promise I won’t be out long. Just don’t interrupt me.” Mouth full of food, Kirby nods politely and returns to his breakfast, downing half a glass of orange juice after he swallows. Dedede takes his chance to dart out of the room, taking the door into the living room and shutting it behind him, becoming ever more conscious of the weight inflicted by the phone in his pocket. Knowing that in just a minute he’ll have to take it out and try his best to contact Meta Knight, unsure of the answer he’ll receive, or whether he’ll receive one at all. Lifting it from his person- holding it to his mouth. Pressing down on the button that he’s had open ever since he realized Meta Knight took the car.

\---------------------------------------------

Meta Knight, if asked, would always say that he preferred to wake up with the sunrise. It was natural, fulfilling and good for the body. In the human world, however, he was prone to indulging in lazy mornings. No wings meant none of the joy that a sunrise flight over the forests offered. So what was the point? And on this particular day, it was the sound of a ringtone that led him to awaken, the sun having been up for hours at the time. Shocked out of sleep, it took a few seconds for Meta to respond, instinctively searching for the phone before realizing that the endeavour might not be positive for him. With the whole running away with his friend’s car situation. And that Dedede would probably be up at this point-

_Oh. The phone is still going off. Do I pick up the call?_

Knowing that any attempts to call back would be an expression of interest on his part, Meta Knight slid the green icon on his screen to the right. He didn’t need to know who it was, or even check. Dedede was the only contact he had, the only one who would care if he disappeared. That made it harder to let everything which had happened go.

After a second, he was able to hear Dedede’s voice.

“Meta.”

“Dedede.”

More silence. What could be said? Was anything worth saying?

“I don’t suppose you have my car, by any chance.” _Well, two can play at being coy,_ Meta Knight thinks.

“I might do. What’s it to you?”

“Well, it’s my car. And I didn’t give you permission to take it, actually…”

“You’re awfully concerned about material objects. I’m just going for a drive, and then I’ll bring it back, safe and sound, no problem.”

“You can’t- you can’t give me that answer!” The sudden change of Dedede’s tone alarmed Meta Knight. It seemed that they had stopped joking around now, after Meta Knight admitted passively that it wasn’t some kind of make-up joke intended to repair the wall they’d erected between them. “Bring the goddamn car back! You left Kirby all alone, now you’re goofing off somewhere without even having a license. For fuck’s sake. “

“I’m driving fine, alright? And I don’t know why you can’t take care of Kirby. He’ll be fine as long as you’re around. Are you always afraid of confronting the things you’re scared of, huh?” Dedede knew as soon as Meta Knight said the final part of his sentence that there was no good answer. He hadn’t listened to Meta Knight’s perspective, now he was demanding him back because he felt out of his depth. Without considering how upset he must have felt at him, what provoked him to take off. Why he didn’t want to be in the house anymore.

 _God, I’m a disappointment_ , Dedede thought.

“Yeah. I guess I am, honestly. Take the car, do what you want. Bring it back in one piece, okay?” Before Meta Knight could say anything else, the disconnect noise pierced his ears. Despite everything, Dedede was the one who hung up upon hearing Meta Knight’s words. He felt a bubble of shame in his chest, despite being given permission for what he did. Until he realized that Dedede had listened to him.

\-----------------------------

“Why’re you yellin’?”

Kirby’s voice came from behind Dedede just a few seconds after he hung up. He felt his heart sink, knowing that there was no way to hide from himself or Kirby any more.

 


	29. save as draft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dedede is writing a post on reddit, if it's not obvious. for all the dumb shit that goes down on that website, there's some really heartwrenching written material on there. plus, even if he knows inside that nobody will read it or care, he's gotta process his emotions somehow.   
> (big love to my gf, who is sleeping rn but still an angel!! and thank you to everyone reading, please check out scribemallow.tumblr.com for more)

Meta Knight tries his best to think. Tries to think about where he’ll go now, what he’ll do with the time he’s been afforded. Lets the car engine thrum underneath his fingers and attempts the best he can to focus his mind- concentrate and know.

_Is there anything out there for me?_

Then it comes to him. The one place that Dedede forbade him from going- at least as a formality. Or some kind of joke. To Meta Knight, in the moment, it doesn’t matter.

 _The Outback Steakhouse. Whatever Dedede’s problem with that place is, it’ll piss him off real good if I show up there_.

The car kicks into gear again as Meta Knight puts his hands on the equipment, adjusting it as necessary and taking off from the parking lot and onto the road. Before long, he’s driving alongside hundreds of anonymous faces, unknown people, going wherever whenever regardless of Meta Knight’s actions. And it soothes him, at least a little, to know that he’s not alone in the world, but it can’t stop the craving he has for the world to start turning again. For him to see Dedede and Kirby, making up and going back to the way things were before.

\----------------

long post below.

i fucked up real bad. the situation is a little hard to explain, and though it may be hard to understand it please give me the benefit of the doubt here. i’m a guy, a bachelor, mid-30s and i live alone. i’ve dated briefly in the past, but there aren’t many important people in my life. amongst the people i’m close with is a male friend of mine. we’ve had a long and complicated past together, but too much crazy shit happens to us together for us to not come out of it with our friendship intact. mid-30s, probably even more of a loner than i am. doesn’t associate with his family often, like me.

my normal home is on a sizeable family estate outside of the us, but amongst my personal property is a very generic suburban home in the midwest. i stay there sometimes when i need to clear my head. recently, due to events including a natural disaster, aforementioned male friend is staying with me in this home. he has his nephew with him. again, complicated story, but it’s basically a parental relationship. he’s not surface-level parental, so he doesn’t get called dad or anything, but all i can say is thank fuck he’s a competent adult in the situation. sweet kid, but he gets into trouble a lot, meanwhile i feel like i’m barely out of my 20s. i don’t like to admit it, but my current job is a managerial position and basically the result of nepotism incarnate. his thing is complicated, but he’s self employed, and i’ve always admired that he runs his own shit.

so this weird inter-family vacation starts with us on fairly rough terms. life has been busy as all hell and things happen so fast, whatever. but we warm up to eachother a lot quicker than i expected. like, way quicker. i was more expecting hanging out with a kid and the guy i know who doesn’t say shit to be something i’d tolerate, not enjoy. we go to the park, teach the kid a new words, hang out and grill in my backyard etc. basically just two bros chilling. this stretches out over a bunch of lazy summer weeks where we really aren’t doing anything much other than hanging out with the kid. once we’re able to take him to daycare, we spend a couple days together instead of just the nights. and i don’t think anything in this post would be so much of a problem if i didn’t enjoy his company as much as i do. i stated previously that i’m not close to many people. my career mostly involves telling other people to do things and mandated showboating, so no colleagues i can relate to, and i don’t get out much. you are entirely right to think this is a bit sad. this is a dude i’m really interacting with for the first time in a while, and it feels great.

so where’s the fuckup, you might ask? well, it happened yesterday. we go to a café after finding a lost cat (mostly irrelevant to this) and, well, he “comes out” to me. we talked about a joke and i said it was weird for two men to date. understandably, this did not fly with him. i promise i’m not close-minded, okay? or at least i’m trying not to be. my parents spend a lot of time trying to hook me up with girls they know, so i never thought of it like that is all. he gets mad, i gets mad, frostiest drive home you’ll ever experience. no telling the kid, who gets his favourite cartoons all night to distract him. we avoid each other until the morning.

in the morning, my car is gone, as is my friend. the easiest conclusion here is the correct one. he drove off with it, taking the keys and everything. which absolutely sucks, by the way, but we’ve survived way worse. i call him and we kind of start our regular joking banter routine before i just, really want my car back, ideally with him in it. then we disagree, it goes on and the call disconnects. i forget who turned it off. then i go to sulk and mope and make this post on reddit so you guys can goof on my failure. all after taking a nap and dreaming.

i don’t hate him. and i don’t really understand that dream exactly, but i know he was there, and we were both crying. after a while we were kissing each other. like, on the lips and shit. it finished before it could get any more interesting, but now i know that i’m not just an idiot, i’m a hypocrite. guy who internalizes years of pressure from his family to marry a woman for business purposes represses exclusive attraction to men.

what a shocker, huh.


	30. where are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its all coming together babey!!!!!!   
> thank you for reading and BIG thanks to my gf!!!!  
> support me at scribemallow.tumblr.com!!

Meta Knight is unsurprised that it doesn’t take long for him to be seated at the Outback Steakhouse. From Dedede’s description of the place as an abysmal hellscape and a disgrace to “Australia”, whatever that was, he didn’t doubt for a moment that it saw its fair share of disgraced bachelors wandering through the doors and asking for a table seating one. Looking around at the discordant decorations and the lifeless servers, he’s also surprised- and regretful- that his bitterness against Dedede prompted him to turn up at a place almost as terrible as he’d had it described to him. Thinking for a moment- _well, I might as well lie in the grave I’ve dug_ \- he took his place at the table a member of the apathetic staff directed him to and began to peruse the menu.

\-----------------

Of all the embarrassing things in the world, Dedede was convinced at this moment that he was going through the glut of everything ranking high on the list. He’d humiliated and angered his only real friend, acted like a complete hypocrite because of people he didn’t even like, fallen asleep straight after a light breakfast, vented his emotions to strangers on the internet and now- as if it couldn’t get much worse for him- lost the kid he was supposed to be taking care of. A good twenty minutes of searching on his part had returned nothing but the abstract traces of Kirby’s presence- a mostly-eaten breakfast and residual muddy footprints in the hallway in particular. Though he’d managed to assuage Kirby’s apprehension upon hearing him and Meta Knight yell at each other over the phone, every second of the kid’s absence made Dedede a little more sure that Kirby had been pulling the wool over his eyes successfully when he took Dedede’s bluffing at face value.

Especially when the wallet he’d left on the counter was gone. And the door was still unlocked- no doubt Meta Knight hadn’t bothered to lock it after last night, but he hadn’t taken the wallet, just the keys. And, Dedede thought as his heart sank, _the only person who’d need that is suddenly nowhere to be found._

_Fuck’s sake, I’m not cut out for this family business._

\---------------------

If there was one thing Kirby knew about Meta Knight, it was that he liked to make a show of himself. Not necessarily in a bad way- just that he was desperate to present an image to others. Especially if it was necessary to hide his true feelings. He would never admit to lacking self-confidence, or being upset, or feeling sorry for others. Which, Kirby knew, was why Meta Knight insisted on challenging him to fight instead of caring for him more conventionally. Why he would behave so brusque and walled off towards those he really did care about. And why his inevitable destination in the car he’d procured was always going to be the one place that’d spite Dedede the most- his most detested restaurant in Oklahoma and the world, Outback Steakhouse. A lot of his impassioned rant on the subject had been lost on Kirby, but he’d picked up the core aspect- that Dedede was never going to take Meta Knight there. Which he’d accepted at the time, but was now going to defy.

If there was a second thing Kirby knew about Meta Knight, it was that his constant insistence on projecting an image left him vulnerable. And predictable. The poor state of Meta Knight and Dedede’s relationship wasn’t lost on Kirby, who noticed almost immediately that they stopped the casual intimacy and connection which had grown between them previously. So he rationalized it in his mind-

_if I can get to Meta Knight, I can talk to him, and it’ll all be okay again!_

Having grabbed the wallet and snuck out of the house while Dedede remained slumped over asleep in his chair, Kirby felt infinitely thankful that the vivid memory of the restaurant’s location still remained in his mind’s eye. He’d worked out the local bus routes as fast as he could, eventually able to devise one path that included only fifteen minute’s worth of walking. Easy for someone with his energy, and he’d worn his tallest shoes to look as mature as possible while talking to the bus driver.

He just had to hope that Dedede wouldn’t wake up and look for him before he’d left.

\---------------

Ten minute’s worth of looking at the menu placed in front of him hadn’t helped Meta Knight make a decision whatsoever. On the brink of some undeterminable breakdown, he’d made the decision in his mind to ask the next server who passed for their recommendation.

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you issue a recommendation as to the recommended dish in this establishment?”

The server looked at him blankly for a moment, confused by his formality but obliged to respond.

“Well, we have a wonderful selection of steak to offer you. And you can have that with.. salad, if you wish.” Meta Knight contemplated the proposition in silence for a few seconds.

“Okay, then. I’ll have the steak.”

“…Which steak would you prefer?” the server asked. Meta Knight shrugged.

“I don’t know. Whichever one you think is the best steak.” Realizing that she wasn’t likely to get any more information from the strange man who shacked up at the restaurant alone, the server moved quickly on to convey the order.

All Meta Knight could think of was Dedede and Kirby. Hoping they were safe. Regretting running away so irresponsibly for no reasonn. Only the tacky interior of the venue kept him from crying, and for that he was thankful.

\------

Kirby counts his blessings as he sees the bus turn the corner minutes earlier than he expected. Without hesitation, and adopting the convincing voice of a child several years his senior (because it wasn’t like he could tell a human bus driver he’d killed evil itself in a swordfight) he climbed on board and proudly presented the woman behind the counter all of the change he had fished from Dedede’s wallet. It slunk into the collection hole without a word from her and Kirby took his seat- as close to the front as he could so he knew when he was close. The excitement nearly overwhelmed him- _it was going to be fine once he got there, it would be okay_.


	31. the bus song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title is a reference to the bus song by jay som.  
> as always, thank you for reading and huge love to everyone, especially my gf!

Halfway through the charred lump of meat sitting on his plate, Meta Knight remembers that he doesn’t have a wallet on him. He doesn’t have his own- one of Dedede’s old ones and mostly empty at the time of departure- or Dedede’s wallet, which he was conscientious enough to not take. And that while someone on Planet Popstar might be kind enough to give him the benefit of the doubt, Earth was a hostile place full of pressing demands and active hostility towards anyone who let anyone down. It puts him off his meal even more than the food has managed, leaving him no option but to fiddle with his phone again in an attempt to look busy. When the screen comes to light he’s unsurprised that the voicemail from Dedede remains, but a little upset that he hasn’t received any texts or calls within recent history. Because for everything that’s happened, Meta Knight knows he can’t stay mad. Not forever.

\---------------

When the sun passes the unobscured bus window, Kirby blinks to shield his eyes. Now without the security of being able to close them, fall asleep and still end up safe, it becomes like a game for him to time the small shutterings with the thrum and pace of the vehicle and its wheels underneath. At peace with the minor inconveniences, only thinking about the potential for him to meet with Meta Knight and fix the conflict, he times it using short taps of his finger on the palm of his other hand.

_I think he might be mad if he knows that I went all this way without Dedede’s permission. But then, he might feel more sorry for me if he does, because he’ll see how much I really care about him and being around at the house together. Once he understands, we can be friends again._

He braces himself as the bus grinds to a halt in front of one of the stops, counting the ascension to his destination.

\--------------

Dedede knows he can’t justify calling Meta Knight. The chances he knows anything about Kirby’s disappearance is almost nothing considering that Dedede himself hasn’t been able to get through to him. And that there’s no landline for Kirby to contact Meta Knight with. But the impulse is too strong for him to resist- even if for nothing else than that Meta Knight is perhaps the sole person who understands who Kirby is. Whose first response won’t be that Dedede is a negligent caretaker. Which he supposes he is, but not in the drastic fashion that some people would suspect, because Kirby’s powers laid in his intelligence and ability to outwit Dedede time after time after time.

Pushing away his reluctance, he presses the “Call” button on Meta Knight’s contact page and waits for the familiar ringing tune to play.

\--------------------

_Speak of the devil._

Almost as soon as Meta Knight thinks about Dedede, the familiar name and picture pop up on his screen with the notification of an incoming call. He sits for a second and ponders whether to pick up- the Outback Steakhouse might make the situation much worse if he gives it away and getting kicked out of the restaurant for arguing seems like an ineffective method to escape without paying the bill for his terrible food. But the buzz of the device against his palm makes him inescapably nostalgic for all the times they’d talked before, so he slides the green button to the right and presses the gadget up to his ear expectantly, waiting for a heavy-hearted greeting on the other end.

“Meta, you’re there?”

“I got bored.”

“Well, stop being bored right now,” Dedede states in a panicked voice “because Kirby’s disappeared to fuck know’s where.”

\-------------------------

The stop before Kirby’s getting-off point, he can almost feel himself vibrate with excitement. It’s gone as well as he could have orchestrated- a quick and painless journey to the place where Meta Knight was most likely to be. And if he wasn’t there? Kirby hadn’t really contemplated it, feeling like he had a good window into Meta Knight’s psyche, but he was sure that he’d be able to take the bus back home a little later. And he could play in the grass until then. Still avoiding eye-contact with the people around him, knowing that he wasn’t as independent as a young human than he was on Planet Popstar, he ducked his eyes behind his arm for the final few times when the sun blinked through the windows and reflected its heat onto the hot metal bars of the bus.

\-----------

Regretting bringing the issue up as the first order of conversation, but happy to have at least reached Meta Knight, Dedede took a few seconds to wait for Meta Knight’s response. When all he got was stunned silence, he decided that some elaboration was in order.

“He got out of the house.” Making the point that Meta Knight had left the door unlocked occurred to him, but he hesitated. Then it struck him. “…He might be looking for you. You didn’t tell him you were going anywhere, right?”

“No.” Not only was Meta Knight seemingly in an abysmal mood, Dedede could tell from his tone that the news of Kirby’s disappearance had been completely unknown to him before. “I… Do you have any clue where he might have gone?”

“Aw man… He’s not in the garden or at the neighbours or anything, none of the ordinary stuff a kid might do. Keep yellin’ his name and it doesn’t work for jack shit.” Both of them knew that Kirby would come when called, if nothing else.

“Try checking for a note or a drawing he might have left, and I’ll brainstorm.”

“Okay, Meta. Call you back soon.” Filled with the adrenaline of being able to say that again, Dedede slid the call away with a sense of pride overcoming his anxiety.

\----------

Meeting a woman at the desk when he entered the restaurant, Kirby froze up. He forgot to plan this far and he knew it- his brain had skipped from arriving at the restaurant to reconciling with Meta Knight. So all he could do was ask for him and hope he was there.

“I-I’m looking for… For Meta Knight.” The woman at the desk turned, and Kirby followed the path of her vision to see a nearly-tall blue-haired figure in the distance. “Him! Him! Meta Knight!”

\-----

Meta Knight wasn’t sure who had called his name, and he hoped that it wasn’t anyone asking for him to pay. Turning around, he had no idea what to think of what he saw.


	32. reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoooo and we're moving into the endgame folks!! thank you for sticking around this long
> 
> and thanks to my wonderful girlfriend <3

“I’m not buying you a dessert.”

It’s the first thing Meta Knight says to Kirby when he sits himself down at the table. Now distracted from his thoughts of reconciling Dedede and Meta, thinking entirely about desserts, he grunts in frustration and slaps the laminated menu down on the table. The gust of air lifts Meta Knight’s loose, un-brushed hair up, and he laughs at the temporary return to normality. It similarly distracts him from the fact that they don’t have any money to pay for the steak Meta Knight ordered, and they certainly don’t have the money to pay for a dessert that Kirby might want.

“Aw. You’re no fun.” The humour and carefree attitude that Kirby exhibits towards the situation at hand never fails to entertain Meta Knight. “But I’m glad I found you here!”

“Yeah.” Meta Knight pauses to think, chewing on a piece of the rubbery and tasteless meat. “How did you even figure that I was going to be here? I never told you.”

“Well…” Kirby smiles broadly. “You were mad at Dedede.” This time, Meta Knight flinches upon realizing that Kirby wasn’t as oblivious about the situation as he had hoped. “And when you’re mad at someone, you want to do things that will make them mad! And the Outback Steakhouse makes Dedede very, very mad.” The emphasis Kirby places on the final “very” makes it hard for Meta Knight to not laugh out loud. Still, the fact that Kirby made the journey alone is concerning and confusing for him.

“You should have asked Dedede to bring you here. Going on your own here was irresponsible and dangerous.”

“But,” Kirby replied, “he wouldn’t go here. Especially if he knew you were here, because you can’t get along right now. And I don’t understand why.”

Meta Knight freezes. Now’s the time it has to be explained to him. Or he has to tell a lie- and live with it for the rest of his life. He could clear it up when Kirby was older, but he’d rather commit to what he said now so that they could live in peace. Taking a deep breath, he speaks.

“I told Dedede something personal. And he got angry at me for what I said. Then it got more intense, so the conflict emerged between us. Now… Well, I’d like to make it up to him. But he will need to apologize first.” Kirby looks pensive for a moment after Meta Knight speaks, then turns his eyes to Meta Knight.

“So… if I can make Dedede say sorry for what he said, then it’ll be okay, and we’ll all be friends?” Distracted for a moment, Meta Knight realized just how far Kirby had come during their trip. How quickly he picked up speech in comparison to humans. That, for all the shit he’d given Dedede, he had been instrumental during this time.

It took him a moment, but eventually he could speak. “I suppose. We’ll have to have an adult conversation about the issue, of course. Something that you’re too young for.” And though Kirby’s disappointment at not being privy was apparent, the little starry light in his eyes made Meta Knight confident he’d given the right response.

\----

Dedede was halfway through a rather intense panic attack when his phone rung. His initial reaction was to ignore it, forgetting his conversation with Meta Knight, but when the caller name and image appeared he couldn’t have responded to the call faster. Holding it to his ear, not knowing when to speak, Dedede listened for Meta Knight’s voice on the other side of the line.

“I’ve found Kirby.”

And he was sure it was a prank, some sort of cruel trick that Meta Knight was pulling on him in revenge for his complete ineptness, until he heard Kirby’s voice in the background with its energy and its youth.

“Is he really calling? Hey, Dedede! Dedede! I’m here!”. All Dedede could do was take a large gulp of air and try his best to speak.

“…No kiddin’, Meta. How in the world did that happen?”

“Kirby got the instinct that I would be in this place, and he was right. You-“ Meta Knight turned to Kirby so he could speak.

“-took the bus! All the way here to the Outback Steakhouse.” Between knowing Kirby had taken the bus halfway across town without supervision, and that he had taken it to Outback Steakhouse, something snapped within Dedede upon hearing.

“C’mon, okay. Scratch everything else, I’m coming to pick you guys up whether you like it or not. And you better get in the car, because you’re not spending any longer in that place if I can help it.”

“…I went here to make you mad, honestly.” Meta Knight replied. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to do. Because I was… mad at myself.”

“We can talk about it at home, alright Meta? Seeya soon.”

When Dedede’s voice was no longer pumping through the phone, Meta Knight knew the conversation was over. But for the first time in a while, there was a glimmer of light in their relationship.

And the phone rang again.

“Shit,” Dedede said when Meta Knight picked up, “I forgot that you took the car in the first place. You, uh… you wanna come home in that car? I promise I’ll only punch you once, and it’ll be soft. On the shoulder.”

“Okay, Dedede. Just as soon as we… figure out a way to pay for the steak I ordered. It’s terrible, and we don’t have any money.”

“Didn’t Kirby take my wallet?” Meta Knight turned to Kirby with exasperation on shock on his face.

“Did you really take Dedede’s wallet? That’s unacceptable.” In the second between the two sentences, Kirby had rooted around in his pocket and fished out the brown-leather packet, handing it to Meta Knight. “But I guess we’ll have to use it so we can get out of here.”

“…I’m going to call the bank and ask if they can take this transaction off my record.”


	33. honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope yall enjoy ur juice
> 
> (my fav juice is my gf <3)

Two mugs of coffee lie on the table when Dedede and Meta Knight sit down to talk. With the scent lingering in the air, Meta Knight keeps his face pressed down to the tabe until Dedede arrives for the second time with his own mug, waiting until he can drink from it. Though it’s a hot day, Meta Knight can’t help but admit that it’s a tiring one and that the AC is on high in the building, so he drinks hungrily from the mug as soon as it’s cool enough. Dedede laughs when he nearly burns his tongue on the liquid.

“I should have made iced coffee, huh?” The friendly tone is back and Meta Knight can’t be more thankful.

“It doesn’t matter.” Despite the heat, Meta Knight takes in another sip of the unsweetened coffee. “Thank you. For this, and everything.”

“I don’t know why you’re saying that. I should be saying that. Hell, I should be saying it a thousand times over- thank you. You’ve put up with some unbelievable mess from my end. And you- you don’t deserve it. Anything I did or anything I said about you. That was mean. All the nice stuff I’ve said still applies.”

“You have a very brusque way of apologizing, don’t you? But I do appreciate it. And I suppose that when I’ve been cruel, the same still applies. You are not the bad person I’ve made you out to be.” The pause in conversation after this gives Dedede a moment to take a sip of his own drink and consider the situation.

“But I was a jerk to you about… That stuff. You know. In the café and whatever, why you actually got so mad at me you stole my goddamn car.. I don’t think I can be sorry so easily about that, you know?” Meta Knight takes similar pause upon hearing the words, then looks at Dedede.

“It would mean a lot to me to know you’ve changed your opinion on the matter.”

“One million times over, dude. I don’t know who I thought I was then, being like that. It’s not like I’ve ever really dated a dame or whatever. Not my place to talk.” For the moment, he holds his tongue on the gradual revelation he’s endured since the morning.

“I’m glad to hear it. And I do not intend to pursue you in any way other than our continuing friendship and combined responsibility of protecting and training Kirby and Planet Popstar.” Upon hearing this, however, Dedede finds his tongue harder and harder to hold. It still embarrasses him that he’s thinking of Meta Knight like this- the dream of his lean figure and proper posture melting into them curled up on the couch together, lips locked- but for once amongst many times he’s afraid to let something good escape from his grip so easily.

“You don’t have to be so uptight about it. And, uh, thanks for saying we’re gonna be friends still. Because I wasn’t sure… You know, that it’d still be that way.”

“Even if it’s not in any other way, I still value you immensely as a companion and a colleague.”

Dedede tries to keep silent as he takes in a deep breath, preparing for a possibly unwise plunge. “So, ah… Did you like me in the other sense, then? Because I, uh, am not sure. Based on the stuff you’ve said to me I generally just took it as you being attracted to other dudes in a general sense and not me personally, which might just be me reading the situation badly, but-“

“Yes.”

Dedede’s heart twitched and jumped in his chest. “What, really?”

“I hope this isn’t a negative revelation for you. I understand you are just coming to terms with the situation, but I feel that I should be as honest as possible, as that’s why we’re sitting here. To be honest about how we feel about each other.”

Then the breath catches in his throat and refuses to budge. And it’s almost like a sticky syrup has taken hold of Dedede’s brain as he tries to think of a decent response, anything, that would alleviate the situation and Meta Knight’s obvious perception that Dedede couldn’t return any feelings he had.

“Well.” It’s the only thing Dedede can get out, and he regrets saying it when Meta Knight looks up from his coffee at him, clearly confused. In the moment, he regrets assuming that the rest would come to him once he started the line of thinking, and a pause remains in the air for several seconds. “Actually.” _Now it’s obvious what you’re going to say to him, idiot_. Unless he takes it and assumes you’re announcing you can’t be friends anymore, which will be the worst. Sometimes you should shut your beak and give yourself a while, even just a little bit of time, to think about what in the world you’re going to convey-   
“I love you.”

In the ensuing silence, Dedede looks down at his mug in the same way Meta Knight did, petrified by his decision to speak.

“Ah. A-as a friend, then. Well, I appreciate it.”

“No.” More half-thought sentences and unfinished statements. “In the other sense. The one we were talking about. With kissing and calling each other stupid names in public and stuff.”

“…You expressed a distaste at the idea of two men sharing that relationship barely a day ago. I’m not sure I understand.”

“Do you understand that I’m stupid, Meta? I said a bunch of dumb shit because you confronted me with a reality I didn’t want to face. Like always.” It was too similar to Meta Knight’s attempt at usurping Dedede’s control over the kingdom all to protect it.

“But you don’t have to say that you love me just to reassure me your perspective has changed. I do very much believe that this has changed, and I see no reason to presume the opposite.”

“I’m being honest, okay?”


	34. caffeine dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> get ready to enter the fluff zone
> 
> (i'm in the love my gf zone <3)

“Let me tell you about my dream.” Dedede says. Meta Knight nods, and takes another sip of his coffee when Dedede begins.

“It happens before any of this shit goes down. Actually, I don’t know when this happens, and Kirby isn’t there. I guess we’re humans because that’s what my brain is at the moment, but who knows. It won’t change when we get back home, I promise. You get it?”

Meta Knight looks up from his coffee. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Right, good. So the dream starts with us on the couch together, just like on one of those days we stuck around in there and watched human TV while Kirby played outdoors. I’m on the left, you’re on the right, and I have the remote. So obviously I picked what’s on TV. It’s some comedy film- listen, the content of the TV isn’t important. I don’t know why I’m even telling you about this.”

“I find your storytelling very illuminating, Dedede.”

“Thanks. So even though you don’t have the remote, you somehow turn the TV off and turn to me. You tell me there’s something more interesting than watching TV together that we can do. And I’m confused for a minute because I know that the TV is pretty kickass. And then…” There’s another silence between them.

“Then what?” Meta Knight replies, his expression piercing Dedede’s eyes.

“Well.” He gulps. “You come and you kiss me on the lips. It doesn’t last long, but it’s real exciting in the dream, you know? And you ask me if I enjoy it. Dream me isn’t so worried about my shitty parents, so he says yes, because it’s true. So you stop standing over me and get on my lap and  wonder for a moment if I died on my sleep and I’ve gone to heaven, which seems like a pretty weird thing to wonder if I wasn’t really into you kissing me at the moment.”

“Correct. Though it’s not abnormal to dream about people you’re not fond of, even in a romantic context.”

“Can you not be a spoilsport, please? I was just about to tell you about how you got on my lap and began kissing me more, all over my face. It feels goofy, you know? But also right. Maybe you annoy me sometimes, but there’s nobody I’d rather have annoying me than you, so…”

“I was quite affectionate in this dream.”

“You betcha. Most of the other end is kind of hazy, so I don’t have too many fine details about that bit, but c’mon. I had a whole kissing dream about you. That’s not the stuff that happens if you’re full of anger at the idea of two dudes kissing each other.”

“I suppose not.” Meta Knight’s coffee mug is almost drained from the amount of pensive caffeine consumption he’s endured over the last hour they’ve been talking with each other. Dedede wonders why, as the coffee he buys is pretty shitty- he has to drink it, and all coffee tastes exactly the same to him regardless of any quality or stated flavours. “Then… are you open to continuing with an alternative relationship? An alternative to friendship, I mean. Of course, I understand if your answer is no. This is of course not a great decision to ask you to make on the spot.”

“Geez, stop talking so fast and let me say what I want first. I wanna have an alternative relationship or whatever the hell it’s called with you. I mean, it’ll be new and shit, but I think I’m okay with that idea.”

“…I like that very much. With that in mind, though, we’ll have to inform Kirby of the changes in a way that he can handle and understand.” Without thinking about it too much, Dedede slides his hand onto the centre of the table. Noticing this, Meta Knight meets this with his own hand. The warmth underneath is new and welcome, sending his heart rate high almost immediately.

“He knows about people kissin’, right? It’s not like we can give him a sadder idea of relationships than Taranza and the spider chick I had to fight. Oof, that situation just upsets me.”

“Granted,” Meta Knight replies “but it will be a change regardless. And it puts us in… Awkwardly, more of a fatherly position towards him. Both of us. He will be independent, but the two of us will be a unit.”

“Honestly, I think if that was going to be a problem we’d have found it out by now. We’ve basically been acting like his dads for ages now and he’s only run away and stolen my money once.”

“Which is perhaps too low of a bar.”

“Come on.” Dedede can’t stop grinning when their banter picks up. “He has good intentions, always. We should go to him with the same.”

Without any prompting, both Dedede and Meta Knight stand up in tandem, lifting their hands from the table. It takes them only a few seconds to kiss, quiet and loving in the curtain-darkened room.

\----

It takes a week full of distraction and hushed intimacy for Meta Knight and Dedede to come up with a workable explanation for Kirby. Meta Knight gets to be the one who sits down with Kirby, under the pretense of talking about going back to Popstar, and tell him about the way things have changed underneath his nose.

“You wanna talk, Meta Knight?” The way he curls up on the sofa with his legs tucked in at any opportunity is adorable, Meta Knight notes.

“Mhm.” As if to intentionally contradict his statement, Meta Knight clams up for a moment before working up the courage to speak again. “You know… You know how, sometimes, two people love each other a lot? And they have a special connection.”

“Being married.”

“That’s... a big version of that. But like being married.”

“Yeah, I know. What does this have to do with going home?” _He’s adorable, but learning to talk has only made him mouthier_ , Meta Knight thinks to himself.

“Me and… Dedede. We have that connection. But not being married yet. He wanted me to tell you that.”

“Oh.” In the moment, Meta Knight couldn’t tell if he’d said the right thing or not. “But we’re still going home on time, right?” _Okay, I can work with this_.

“Nothing is going to change, I promise you. You’ll still have to get stronger every day, and we’ll do the same.”

“That makes me happy, Meta Knight.” Awkwardly, Kirby tried to bring Meta Knight in for a hug, which he reciprocated after the initial shock wore away.


	35. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the conclusion <3
> 
> thank you to everyone, especially connie. i hope you've enjoyed reading to this point. and even though kirburbia is over, i'll keep posting, and hopefully return to this universe soon!
> 
> check out scribemallow.tumblr.com and millimallow.tumblr.com to keep up with that.

This time around, standing in front of the strange whirring machine Dedede keeps in one of his spare rooms isn’t so intimidating. Kirby and Meta Knight know it leads back to home just as Dedede does, its purplish-blue energy no longer threatening once the sense of certainty and familiarity was present. Just a few more minutes for them to collate all of their bags, say goodbye to their temporary neighbours and make sure everything in the house was safely turned off. Then it was back to the world they were most familiar with, regardless of how charming Earth and its various eateries of varying quality could be. Dedede had insisted on taking care of the last few pieces, so all that was left for Kirby and Meta Knight was to stand in front of the portal which would lead them home.

“Are you ready to return?” Meta Knight prompted, watching the portal fiz and pop like human sweets in soda. Without saying anything, Kirby nodded and drew closer to Meta Knight’s leg, clinging on and trying to climb up his back. “It’ll be strange adjusting to being in a different body. Not that I won’t be relieved to feel more like myself again.”

Almost immediately after Meta Knight stops speaking, Dedede barges in with the last few bags- mostly things that Kirby had brought with him onto Meta Knight’s vessel and which couldn’t be kept in the castle. Heaving them onto the ground with an overdramatic sigh and meeting Meta Knight’s eye, he turns to face the other two.

“You ready to head home, huh? Sure look like it, standing there like statues staring at this damn thing.”

“What else are we supposed to do in here? You specifically instructed us to not mess with it. I’m following your command.”

“I’m just jokin’, honey.”

“I’m ready.”

\-------------

The portal doesn’t take more than instant to work its magic, sending the three across universes within the span of a thought or a breath. And to their infinite satisfaction, everything has returned to normal as they stretch and stumble around in their old bodies, finally returned to them. It burns initially, but quickly turns into comfort as the wide expanse of Planet Popstar becomes visible from the castle window, as green and lush as it ever was. From the same window, a beam of light shot through and onto the stone floor, warming the room for their re-entry into the ordinary where everything has changed. And Dedede took Meta Knight into his arms, pressed him against his softer and welcoming body, loosening the mask away from his face in a way that would have once aggravated him. But in the moment, all Meta Knight could do was plant a single kiss on Dedede’s face, wings whipping up the air around him as Kirby laughed. The calm warmth of the Sunday afternoon conveyed to them that things would be fine, at least for a while. And that was enough for them as a family- togetherness and peace.


End file.
